today,since mama and papa aren't working,it's a family day!
deciding to go to east coast,but let's just see about that.

and the GST's money's banked in!
i am a very happy girl.
i smell shopping coming my way!((:

and this song is freaking stuck in my head since yesterday.gah!

♥ 9:35 AM

1)i'm counting with my two fingers to Friday.
2)i was almost killed by the killer paper in the afternoon.
3)i'm having a mental drainage.
4)i realised i've gone on a hiatus for about a week.
5)i still won't be doing a proper update till Friday.
6)I still wish Friday will come FAST.
7)I've been hibernating,not meeting with my girls the whole week.
8)I've finally planned an outing with my Senoritaz girls,but still have yet to confirm since Fai's bro will get married on that 14th,and we were actually invited after the date were settled.
9)I'm still planning on a 'where to' date with the boyfriend on Friday.(Wah sia,i miss Hafiz like hell-0)
10)I've yet to study for my last paper on Friday.
11)I need my sleep right now.

♥ 8:34 PM

i am almost like a walking zombie today.
3 freaking hours of sleep got me high in the head.
the painful thudding kept going on and on,never ending until i got home from the library and slept for a while till the boy called to check on me and to indicate that he's home.
every single calls and text messages always makes me feel better.

i was starting to lose my grip on things until i came back to my senses.
the two reports has been taking a toll on me the past week.
i shouldn't have procrastinated a lot.
i should have just started early so i could start on my revision fast.
damn,i've just burnt my study week,just like that.
wake up already!



somethings are never meant to be said,but are meant to be felt.
and i realise,i love you more than the word means.

♥ 10:33 PM

anger is not a good thing,not when you weren't clear of the whole situation.
maybe because of all the things you were going thru,jumbled up into one.
making you push your anger limit button,in addition to those unanswered calls and messages.
don't ever keep me waiting.i can be extra paranoid and pissed off when there's too much in my head.

okie.i should just learn to chill a bit and never let the situation takes control of me.
i will always learn to take control of it.
trust me,i've always does,i know this is never me.
maybe,the time of the month is coming,yet again.
my mistake today,pardon me love.

oh,and my determination to complete a report all in a day is indeed,non-futile.
i'm capable of doing something on my own and doing it extra carefully.
one burden off,one left before friday.


i'll get back to my usual self,very soon enough.

♥ 10:37 PM

been spending the whole day at tan tock seng.
accompanied nenek with her appointment;but was at SGH before that.
bumped into Jaszy on the way to grandad's ward,and god,i miss that girl.we'll meet soon again,okie?(:
i love hospital's smell.
the smell of medicine,the wards.death.morphines.
its like a dose of ecstacy which travels thru your nostrils,into your veins,your neurones,giving you those slight tingles in you.
i like it.
okie,that's weird.i know.
i can't help it.

if i'm given an opportunity,i would love to work in a hospital.
really.

i finally got my haircut.
initially,i wanted to retain the length,but the stylist told me that it won't balance out if i layered the hair.
so she told me,she'll trim the ends.
i was like,"hmm.okie."
but after she snapped some off,i was already alarmed.
i dread looking at the locks she chopped off,my precious long awaited locks.
i was sad.but i kept quiet.
agony in silence.
(erm,i actually sound pathetic like that)
but it wasn't that bad,come to think of it.
hair will grow.yes.*self-comforting*

i feel good cause i get to help buddy with something today.
hearing him out eventhough i know i didn't do that much.
i hope he'll be okie and i know pisces are nice people.
but been there done that,for once,be a lil selfish for your own good.
it won't hurt that much,for any parties.
(:

been rummaging thru my wardrobe in the morning.
and i found so many old photos of myself and sister carrie.
aww.i miss being a child.
so young,so innocent,so pure.
those times when you just know your parents love you like no other.
and you don't even disappoint them with shitty things you'll tend to do when you've grown up.
i miss being a kid.*cries*

i love it when i got to talk to the girlfriend on the phone even for just a while just now.
makes you take off things in your mind.
that's the reason why i love the bestfriends.


and uhoh.i think i've just twisted my ankles.
just by sitting down.
pfft.

♥ 10:58 PM

little did i know,it's already monday.
and i almost forgot about the two remaining assignments to be submitted on friday.
2 submissions in one freaking day,mind you.
and they're at least a report of 4-5 pages each.
man,i hate reports like hell.

currently,i'm still searching for the right definition of cGMP.
i'm trying to rake my brain forming simple sentences.
gawd,English language was almost over with since 4 years ago,and now i still need to do reports using nicely structured sentences in proper english.
i'm whining,i know.

yesterday's dinner with the family was superb.
we tried Pastamania over at Downtown east,and i'm in love with their Alfredo.
mama knows me best,''kakak maner-maner makan mesti ader cheese or cream eh''.
haha.yes mama.tengoklah pipi anakmu ini yang sebakul tak akan turun-turun.
papa and danny had 12-inch pizza,adli with his bolognaise,and ayin with her spicy chicken.
in addition,there were 16 pieces of chicken,and we really feasted on them.
to top it all,we didn't really splurge,cause we realised that the bill costs much lesser that the usual Swensens',Breeks or Pizza hut dining we had.

i'll treat the whole family the next time when i've got my pay,okie okie?(:

anyway,there's 2 things i need to do:
1)say goodbye to my almost dead Motorazr,and i need a new phone,fast!
the phone has always been dying on me,till it makes me frustrated at times.
2)get new clothings for the wardrobe(okie,eventhough we just went shopping 2 months ago).it's hard being girls,when people will always notice the same clothes you'll tend to wear over and over again.

so there,my wish lists before march comes peeping in,hopefully(:

oh oh oh,first paper in another 1 week's time.
i think i'll screw DDD damn badly.
i hate hate hate CHEMISTRY.
dear god,just let me scrape thru it,and i'll be done.
AMIN.

it hurts to see both atuk and nenek in these state.
though we do know the reality,their conditions,the whole family's praying for both of your well being.
hearing atuk reminisced his past,smiles,making jokes and doing his cute antics while visiting and talking to him at the hospital,and seeing nenek so calm and composed eventhough she knows the real situation she's facing which may 'eat-up-her-days-slowly',made the tears fall from my eyes.
it was a double blow to the family,still are,but you can't deny the fate god brings to us as a family.
i still believe everything happens for a reason,and whatever it is,we do have to accept them.
still.get well soon,grandparents.we love both of you,very much.

i need to meet my girls.
my 'i-need-to-be-alone' moments are over,and i still think i can't live without them.
they'd been the drugs since forever.


i'm really into those sappy old love songs these few days.
never fails to lullaby me to sleep.

i need sleep.sleep.sleep.

♥ 10:31 PM

don't ask me how i spent Valentine's(like as if it's a big deal).
no girlfriends.no boyfriend,nobody.
but i'm just contented enough to get to spend it with the family over at the hospital while everyone's holding bouquet of flowers,walking hand-in-hand here and there.

My saturday was a family day,eventhough the day started off with me getting pissed and mad at certain people.
on such a small,simple irritating matter.
but someone made me realise that whatever it is,my bantal busyuk is always there to comfort me,even at that point of time when i just felt like crying while getting pissed.
so people,i'm not ashamed to say that i still have my bantal busuk,even at the age of coming to 21.
and no,nobody can get their hands on it.not even you,mister!
throw it out of the window,and i'll never forgive you,NEVER!
hehe.(:

finally,i just get to know where i'm attached to.
Mandai Orchid Garden.
i love that place eversince i had that fine-dining dinner there for Dina's birthday two years back.
i love flowers,but i've never dreamt of having to work there.lest having internship there.
so,alhamdulilah.
four months working with flowers,and i couldn't ask for more.

oh by the way,I got my GST offset package letter!
200 bux will be credited to me on 1 March,and another 200 in July.
as much as i wanted to be a tweenager,yet again,i love being 21!
haha.
but gotta start saving up already.
-_-"

today's a sunday.
lazy sunday,again.
the dad's out with the lil bro,everyone's going out soon.
if i have no plans,i think i'll just hibernate myself at home.

that,will do.
(:

♥ 10:22 AM

being in 2009(eventhough its still early) has got me realising certain things.

1)do not be very complacent in life.
2)a 'double blow' news didn't move me that much,not until i am all alone,doing some self reflections and wham!i know life's short and i must not take the time that i have for granted.
3)but after some time,i'll be back to square one,living like there's still tomorrow,still thinking of having the time of your life and what-nots.
4)maybe i'm still very curious at this age,hence the views in life at this point of time.
5)i'm becoming more of an ignorant and independent girl/woman/pompan(whichever way you may view me,i don't care),not clingy to others,but with my ownself.
6)but at the same time,i still need my daily dose of laughters and tears and the friendships forged since years ago.i can't live without these for a single day.
7)the bonds made with the family has never been better,though sometimes,i won't get to meet the sister for the entire day(when i wake up,she's not there,and when i fell asleep at night,she's not at home yet or vice versa kinda thing)but we'll always never fail to make up for everything on the days when everyone of us are free.
8)i must start thinking of what i'm gonna do with life,fast!as i'm almost done with school.
9)too much freedom equals to too little time spent sleeping at home on the days i have no school,hence,no more late night msn-ing and the usual things i did when i tried to stay up late till the wee hours of the morning as i'm already too tired when i get home.
10)my love for books are back!and i can't live without it anywhere i go now.haha.

life has been good to me,no doubt.
but i've still yet to explore more.
not being in my own enclosure any longer always makes me wiser and mature in some ways or the other.

and one learning point which makes me stronger in facing more challenges to come if there's any(i know there will be,though):
i've learnt to accept changes at any point in my life.
that,i'm very certain of.

♥ 4:41 PM

i spent time with my girls after school.
and school was such a waste of time just now since no attendance was taken.

met up at Lot 1 since it has been a looong time since i went there.
changes changes,but it's not really a big deal since i'm no longer residing somewhere there.
haha.
window shopped,and decided to slack at darla's place till evening,and off to plaza singapura to search for things while dyla went for dikir training.
window shopped again,search for some stuffs over at Daiso and Spotlight and had dinner at Istana Park.
i love that place,dim and very very romantic ambience.
it doesn't help when you have your girlfriend as a company there.
haha.
but still,i love you darla.
we should go there again to just sit and talk.(:



i'm gonna try my hands on baking these few days since i'm freaking free and i'm not gonna start mugging just yet.


i know life's tough,but with all the people around to love me and be loved by me,i'm such a happy girl!

♥ 11:21 PM

I AM FINALLY DONE WITH FINAL YEAR PROJECT!

hooray!

so the presentation wasn't that bad.
alhamdulilah,everything went on smoothly.
the proffesor was super nice.
and we managed not to stumble here and there.
finally,my last project and presentation in my whole entire poly life is over.
no more worries on my shoulders.
no more having sleepless nights wondering how the presentation was gonna be like.
no more having to wreck my nerves trying to simplify and modify the final slides.
no more.no more.
and i'm more than happy.
eventhough there was a tinge of sadness between the both of us when the proffesor said, 'okie,thank you girls'.
and we were like,'oh what?that's it?that's the end of everything that we had been through together?'
we were very relieved,but its quite sad knowing that everything has to end.
every single tears we shed and all those hardwork we'd put in the past one year.
it's done and over with (:

so now,gotta concentrate on the final exams.
just 3 more weeks to go,and that's it!

i can finally sleep in peace now before starting my mugging sessions.
the last mugging session i'll have,hopefully(:

i'm very fond of them(:

ps/let's have fun right after the last paper,lovelies?((:

oh and yes,the senoritaz need catching up to do,wait,maybe i need those catching up with them.done with everything,set a date with them,cause i miss them too much.i need those reminiscing moments.i miss secondary school.everything.just hang on babes.much loves(:

♥ 10:52 PM

my saturday was spent lazying in the afternoon sun in sentosa,with hafiz.
just like good ol' days.
i wanted to play in the water,but darn me,i forgot to bring all the necessary clothing.
and so,we sat on sand(our mat was swarmed with sand.hahs),had little naps,hafiz did some reading aloud to me,i fell asleep on his lap.
i adore those saturdays with him,i do.

and finally,i rode Thursday with him.
cruising along the expressways,basking in the heat in KPE,practically shouting to each other instead of talking,had issues with the mat(tikar eh,tikar),and our bags(reminder:next time,only one of us will have to bring a bag!haha).
and we had our dinner at Jalan Kayu,and i didn't know their kway teow goreng was nicee.

ah gee,i love that boy.

and when i got home,mama was like,'asal siang sangat kau balik nari?'
cos it was just 8 plus,and on a usual saturday night,i would always get home so late after spending the day with hafiz.
and i was like,'mama nie,orang balik siang,bising,balik lambat pun bising'.
haha.mama mama.

and i wish today mama didn't have to work.
i could just ask the whole family out today.

now,off to shower.
need need to meet kash for final touch up,meeting the girlfriend thereafter.

happy sunday,people!
(:

♥ 9:50 AM

set it right.
i just don't want any changes.
that's all i'll ever ask from you.

sometimes,i wish i can travel.
i even wish i can study overseas.
i just want to see the world.
to paris.milan.
i want to visit Bali..
i just have this super temptation to travel far far away.
away from the busy life in Singapore.

i think i'm gonna start saving up once i start working!

i'm gonna set my priorities right first before everything.
oh,life.(:

♥ 8:11 PM

those little things that certain someone can do which never fails to make you laugh or just to plaster a smile on your face.
god,i love it.

and so,i've decided to get a new hair-do.
with bangs.i miss having bangs framing my chubby face.
soon,pretty soon.

and after a few years with the lappy,and am an idiot at its functions,i've just learned to use every buttons.
and coolio.i love the automatic screenshot function.
gah.

oh,i'm flushed out,dead beat,and i'm tucking in early tonight.
and maybe,i should go on a hiatus soon.
just maybe.
ah well,good night(:

ps/awaiting the weekend!
*double smile*

♥ 10:58 PM

i've been falling sick again and again these days.
but i just couldn't seem to get the rest i needed.
internal presentation's done,and it doesn't turned out pretty well.
modifications of the slides needed,sleepless days.
major external presentation coming up next tuesday.
and i still have those outstanding assignments due before the final exam in two weeks time.
i'm screwed and i wish i could just sleep and get well before i can have all the energy to complete them these few days.
i'm screwed.
=(

Hafiz was a total sweetheart,surprised me with a box of pizza under my void deck just after i got home from school in the evening.
i wanted to meet him after school,but i was held back by my massive headache and went home straight,apologising to him.
and damn it feels so good to finally get a hug and a kiss from him,but i was cautious about me infecting the flu bug to him.
can't deny that i've been missing that boy terribly these few days and i wish i could have more time spent with him.
i really miss those sunset-watching and stargazing moments with him,and i hope we'll do them again soon after both are finally not very busy with our things.
thank you love,for everything (:

oh,and you better tell your parents soon that you already got yourself your bike eh,please eh!
(:

counting down to the last week of me being in school next week.
and yes,except for the thoughts of having to complete those assignments first,i'm super super contented!
no more school((:


gawd.i need sleep.
like really.
like really really.
i hate it when that thudding headache comes back again and again.
pfft.

♥ 11:15 PM

like they said,life is just like a rollercoaster.
sometimes you're up,and sometimes you're down.
situations are either on your side,or not on your side at all.

hope you'll be well soon,atuk.
we love you,you know(:

amidst all the things that has been happening lately which made me super busy or super demoralised or super fatigue,there's just a few reason to keep me smiling.

the family's love.
those little-but-means-a-lot care from the close ones.
the laughters,made-my-day never ending sessions by my precious other half which never fails to lift me up whenever i'm feeling low.
oh how i love you guys,so much(:

and after giving much thoughts,i've finally deleted the friendster account of 5 years.
goodbye friendster,thanks for all the memories and the friends made,but i'm moving on.
i'm a big girl now.haha.oh goodness.

and it's already february!
Hello February!
i really can't wait till all's over and done with,and bye bye poly life.
Hello 'i-don't-know-how's-my-future-gonna-be' life.
urgh.

wait.i still think i'm sticking to my original ambition/passion/career pathway.no matter what it takes.

oh,i'm a strong woman!(=

♥ 11:23 PM