Sunshine

2009-12-10T19:17:00.002+08:00

it feels like heaven once again.
it's been a while since this feeling overwhelmed me.
and to be doing it again,it is unexpected.
but you managed to make me feel complete.

thank you love.
let's,one step at a time.

saturday,please come soon.(:

2009-11-30T09:33:00.001+08:00

a couple of stuffs to think of,and i'll be good.
as good as new.

sometimes,somethings can just catch you offguard.
but i like it.
(:

2009-11-24T11:56:00.004+08:00

my precious sunshines,all the time.

never try too hard to please someone.

i'd rather have the real you with whatever flaws you have,then you,not being you at all.

be yourself,you don't have to suit to my liking.

and yes,just give me my space,will you?

rimas tau!

2009-11-20T11:08:00.003+08:00

LOVE vs PRINCIPLES.

they said,love overpowers everything.
well,i beg to differ.

you go girl! ^_^

2009-11-19T23:52:00.000+08:00

never put in too much hope in someone or something,because little do you know,you might end up getting hurt at the end of everything.

i guess i'm much wiser now.
and i should know better than that.

i never knew i can feel so alive,like this.

2009-11-18T09:52:00.002+08:00

because i'm in need of new shoes and sandals.
because i need new books for the rack.
because i need lots and lots of chocolate supplies.
because i need to fix the hair.
because i need a new bag.
because i need to top up that damn EZ link card almost everyday.
because i need to shop.

and because,i'm already sick bumming my ass out.

DAMN,i just need a freaking job,so bad.
sigh.

2009-11-17T17:38:00.004+08:00

i woke up in the morning,having the thoughts that these were not what i've wanted to do all along.

i don't want to wake up every morning,doing the same things over and over again,like a habit.a routine.

life has got to change,and if it's not now,it can never be.

i've never wasted my youth.

to think back,i had a good time,either with myself,or people i adore all these while.

i've never been too conservative,not anymore eversince eons ago.

experiences made me learnt,but at times,you tend to make the same mistakes over and over again.

I've to admit,i've sinned myself in the process of growing up and learning.

but humans,they've sinned,and they'll repent somehow.

i wish i could do the same sooner,not that i have not been doing it.

maybe,to err is just humans.

we can't be perfect,and maybe,it'll takes some time.

I'll take my time,but not until it's too late though.

gawd.too many things in mind.

i wish i could spill all the guts out into one book,and burn that book at the end of everything.

here comes December before we know it.

and no,no more hoping.

i can't just die twice,not anymore.

the best companions a girl can ever have.

2009-11-12T11:16:00.002+08:00

Love like this.(:

enjoy yourself in Bali,kakak.already missing you. <3

days goes by.

i guess i'm harder to catch up with.

well,that's how it will go.

and you can be my temporary high.

2009-10-06T13:39:00.006+08:00

i guess i need to catch up with so many peepos.

i keep disappearing into my own world.

this year's raya was an awesome one,unlike the lasts.

so much things happened,that the bonds in the family is growing stronger as ever.

and the cousin's getting married in less than a month's time and of course,i still can't accept the fact that i am possibly the next one to be tied up.

considering the fact that the eldest among the cousins is already getting hitched (and i'm the second eldest btw).

oh no.not there,not yet.

sometimes,i really wonder how does it feels like to be in love again?

can i do that again?

and somehow,you're just like my perfect lullaby.

2009-09-17T16:22:00.002+08:00

This makes me feel so good!
*dancing dancing*

2 more days to Raya!
heels,check.
kebaya and kurung,check.
housechores,partially done.
can make it lahhhhh(:

pretty nervous for tomorrow.
i know i can do this,though.cos this is what I've wanted eversince forever(:

2009-09-14T11:23:00.002+08:00

"Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life."

i can never agree more.

ps/bebe!diva!biler nak jumpe and buka together2 lagi?=(

2009-09-11T16:02:00.002+08:00

starting to get myself into with things to get my mind off some things.
maybe,it's just me and my sensitive ways.
i'll get over it.

trip to jb ws good with the aunt,uncle and the cousins.
and i feel in love with my songket.

ah,gotta get ready!
meeting the kawans-kawans in the evening.
yeay(:

2009-09-07T12:24:00.003+08:00

i need things to keep me busy.
i hate hate not doing anything.

i have this urge to study,again.
i don't know why,but i miss lectures,i miss reading lecture notes.
and i miss having examinations.

call me crazy,i don't care.

Mama,can i go back to school?
=(

2009-09-06T11:14:00.003+08:00

it had been good days back.
21st,was awesome,with friends and family celebrating it with me,late night dinner at east coast.
widespread of food,good companies and the beach.

it was an utter surprise,because it wasn't expected.

and i didn't even know they were up to it.

but thank you favourite people(:

so,it's september.

ramadhan is coming close to an end already.

not done with raya shopping.

going jb in a few days time.

have yet to receive news from MOE about my application.(hopes and prays because that is what i badly want.)

and when there's no letters about it in this coming 2-3 weeks,time to head out and search for a job.

gosh,too many things in my head that sometimes,i just want to go back to school.

i've been addicted to facebook.

mafia wars,farmville,fish a fish.

maybe,i should get a life.i can't be doing this constantly.

it'll ruins my social life(like as if i have any,like that.hahs.)

and damn,i need to lose weight.

being at home,doesn't helps.

breakouts these days has been killing me.

i just wish i have those perfect flawless skin,or maybe a skin which doesn't need much moisturization,and is still in good tone.

i need a good laugh.

seriously.

and can someone tell me,where can i get this,pleaseeeeee?

2009-08-28T17:50:00.004+08:00

i miss curls.
i miss having wavy hair.
and i think i'm gonna get this hairstyle soonest.the colour,the cutting and all.HAHS!

and i just think,this song's awesome.

i miss you.

2009-08-23T16:14:00.002+08:00

has been a wet day since morning,and it feels good to just bummed around in bed,enjoying the cold breeze with light drizzles coming thru the window.
ah,i love this kind of weather,the gloomy sky.
and no,gloomy sky doesn't dampens my mood,cos i find solace in them.
very peaceful weather.

and something's got me laughing my tummy out yesternight when the cousin approached me online,with this:"yohaa jobless cousin!!"
well yes cousin,i should be glad.but jobless doesn't sound pleasant,does it?i'm bumming around without earning!hahaha.
and you cousin,should tone down lest the 2 jobs you're holding on to.power lah you((:

i might just have those sufficient rest i need before getting myself a proper job this time.
must remind myself.no job,no vacation with b.
and i want a vacation!

and shopping! =D

2009-08-22T16:39:00.002+08:00

yet another experience after the 4 months working as a 'gardener' during my internship.
at least a month as a service advisor at the workshop was rather fruitful despite the fact that everyday was pressurizing,but i had fun.
with the colleagues who made my days at work,awesome.
but when you've got to go,you've got to go.
no doubt,i'll miss crapping with kak nora,elaine,meiling,abg irwan,and bullying the mechanics.i'll miss the environment,i miss being the youngest,the troublemaker who often locked the doors to the vehicles with the keys inside,the one who often make the jobcards go missing.the everyday busyness taking care of ad-hoc duties,customer service,running around the workshop and yelling Mikey's name and tolerating the hirer's attitudes.
looking on the bright side,at least i know how working in the customers' service line is like.(:

today marks the first day of ramadhan.
and i can't shake the fact that it's gonna be syawal in a month's time.
the first syawal without grandad.

awaiting for buka time in like,2 more hours?
gah.
tahan cha,tahan.(:
selamat berpuase everyone!

2009-08-16T23:45:00.007+08:00

i used to remember singing to the tunes like this from spice girls back in those primary school days.

gosh,90s music,is still addictive till now.

ps/i miss being that little girl i once was.

now then i realised,turning 21 in a matter of days.*alarmed*

2009-08-12T01:22:00.002+08:00

"A man is too apt to forget that in this world he cannot have everything. A choice is all that is left for him."

breaking down is the only thing to do when you were caught up with too much stuffs to think about.
okie,maybe i always had a wrong choice of job,in the first place.
time for a change,again.
trying to adapt,is never easy.
i am still trying to fit myself into the working world,where my classroom is the real world,and the teacher is,myself.
no doubt,i miss school.
le sigh.

decision is made,and am trying to hold on for a few more days.

this year hasn't been a good one.
losing family members one at a time.
first was grandpa at least a month ago(god,i miss him so much),and then was an aunt a few days ago.and just in the afternoon,was late grandpa's big bro.
life,is unpredictable.
you can be here today,but gone tomorrow.
that's life.and i should bear in mind that life,is too fragile to be taken for granted.

but little did i realised,of course,things happened for a reason.
everything,has made the family bond stronger,and brings us closer than before.
i love my family,the big one.
each and everyone of them is important and holds a special place in my heart.

on a lighter note,seeing love always brings my mind at ease.
especially when your day wasn't right throughout.
and the best part of it,was the random moments where you won't even expect yourself to be seeing him on that day,but you did.
thank you for making me feel so complete.
to you:i love you,you know.
(:

and to BEBE,happy belated 20th,bestfriend.
ingat eh,kau dah tua.
but aku tetap sayang kau just the same.
take care bestie,and we girls will meet again soonest.
=D

at least 10 more days to puasa.
oh wow.time flies.

2009-08-07T09:10:00.005+08:00

at least a month of not updating,too many things to say,but so little time.

1 august,with the favouritest cliques for almost a decade.i love those girls.each and everyone of them.

and pina's 20th celebration. (:

life's been hectic,mentally.

work drained me.

and the only things that keeps me sane,are my daily dosages of things that keeps me contented.

loves,like these.enough said (:

oh,and i guess,i need those two bestfriends soon.

winduuuuuuuu! ((:

2009-06-27T10:21:00.005+08:00

it's saturday!
and oh,friday was so much fun with the two besties.

lunch over at marina's BK,shop for tank top at Mango,and that random decision for a karaoke session.

with them,it's just us against the world!(:

my two bestfriends;a part of me.

and yes,you can just tell how much i love this little sister of mine.push the constant quarrels and what-nots aside,she's irreplaceable.

khairiyah,the girl you never get just quite what you see.my sister(:

and when love comes around,it'll just comes around!haha(:

2009-06-23T21:02:00.002+08:00

sometimes,i wish i can just know what my heart wants.
wait.
mind over matter.
mind over matter.
mind over matter.

things will be so good before i know it.
i know i can do this.

chocolates,just what i need now.
and probably,a getaway please.
a simple affair,will do.
beach?stargazing?anyone?

2009-06-22T14:43:00.003+08:00

days have been awesome.
no more school.no more work.
bumming out at home,starting from today.
and i'm so loving it eventhough i know it's not for long.
favourite people,now that i'm all free and easy,date me,won't you girls?heheh.

i'm going to do something with my manes on wednesday.
straight and long is what i'm going for now.
(:

and yes,i thank god for the beautiful state i'm in.
never been better!

2009-06-01T22:38:00.001+08:00

well,HELLO JUNE!

little did i realised,time fly by so fast.
and just 14 more days till my time ends at mandai orchid garden.

wow.

next stop;real working life.

note to self:badly need to get myself a proper job soon.
and erm,i can do this.

2009-05-25T19:38:00.007+08:00

Friday.

Saturday.

Sunday.

a perfect weekend getaway with the love ones.

and i couldn't be more thankful to god,for everything.

2009-05-23T10:40:00.004+08:00

I am, in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there.

friday night with my close ones was freakingly awesome.
last minute shopping at town.
thrills.kitty heels.make-ups.
and music.
nothing beats being with the love ones.

C.V,C.T.and i'm flushed!
haha.

2009-05-16T12:43:00.003+08:00

sometimes,i wish i could tell you how i feel.

about things.
about the things i fear.
about the things i'm going through.
about the things i've missed out on.
about the things i've yet to know.

somethings have just got to get me sane.
sanity is what i'm trying to hold on to now.

and i miss those times i had with the girlfriends.
just us against the world.
i feel drifted.
too far away from everything.

A fine line's between fate and destiny.
Do you believe in the things that were just meant to be?

well.
i'll be fine.

2009-05-12T21:55:00.003+08:00

I usually hate taking the lift(considering that i'm staying on the 23rd storey and it's a loooong way up),as it can be so boring or akward at times,especially when you have to take it with a stranger.
i found this on the net,and it really cracked me up real bad.

Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator:

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

one of these days,i might just try either of them.

can't wait! *rubbing my hands with glee*

2009-05-11T19:11:00.003+08:00

he turned a year older on the 10th,and hence,the celebration for him on that saturday night till the wee hours of sunday morning.

oh,i can never trust the way i handle myself.haha.

happy 21st,again,hafiz.

and mothers' day was spent at changi with the whole big family on sunday evening.
seafood!which resulted in fartings non stop at night in my room since cousin shazlyn and family stayed over.

oh and yes,when the cousins got together:

so many things were shared among us.
this is how i like it,just like the old times when we were all so little and too attached to each other,up till now.

and somebody's getting married*ehem ehem*!
hen party before november,dear cousins(:

2009-05-05T22:59:00.002+08:00

I don't wanna wake before

The dream is over

I'm gonna make it mine

Yes I, I know it

I'm gonna make it mine

Yes I'll make it all mine

♥

2009-05-04T22:58:00.000+08:00

JANGAN TEGUR with these bestest people,were simply awesome!
and that show made me breatheless,with all the screamings and covering of the faces and fidgetting in the seats done.
it wasn't the scariest show i've watched,but at least it's one of the bestest cheap thrill i've been craving for the past few days.
NERVE wrecking!and a lil kinky at the end =D

gosh,i love those girls.

2009-05-03T22:30:00.003+08:00

"People don't do what they believe in, they just do what's most convenient, then they repent."

2009-05-02T10:30:00.005+08:00

i realised i've been posting on a weekly basis these days.
too caught up with work,and sleep,and it's been quite a while since i stayed up all night.

May Day holiday yesterday was spent with the family,and off to work at Lagun Sari at night.
and thank god it's just saturday today.
working again in a while.

i can't believe i actually told bestie something which i didn't intend to tell to anyone.
i'll just say,i can never keep any secrets from her,or i'll be too guilty-conscience.
i miss her a lot,and just having a lil chat with her can just makes me cry,seeing how things have changed over the past few months.

okie,i need my getaway.

2009-04-27T21:09:00.009+08:00

monday is always the slowest day of all.
after having a good weekend,getting up to work is a dread,agreed?
but we can never ever complain enough.

i was stoning at work,doing the things with my eyes half shut,shutting down my brain by the minutes,walking around just to make myself looked fresh and wide awake;but you'll know it will not even work on you.
and to receive a random text message early in the morning while working:
"....I can't handle it alone :( kau tc okie?Sayang kau(:"

-babysister

i smiled like a happy kid while reading this.

nothing beats a sister's love eventhough we often quarrel over the littlest and silliest things.

but she'll always be the sweetest one,lending me her ears to ramble to almost every night before tucking in to sleep,reading each other's minds like how twins do though we're not twins,always been covering my ass everytime i had to go home later than late.

i love her more than anything else in this world.i do.(:

study hard okie sayang.i know you can do it.

and little did i realised,at least 7 more weeks(equivalent to less than 35 more days) till i'm done with attachment;the 2nd interim report were completed and handed up yesterday before going to work.

when i thought that finding a job is as easy as peas,i am so wrong.
i've tried applying for various positions;admin,healthcare industries,sales,FnB.now,i would just have to sit back and wait,wait wait.

and one huge problem in my head:money matters.
god,if only all the good things in the world are free.

wouldn't it be nice?

2009-04-16T20:05:00.003+08:00

my self indulgence has made me feeling guilty all over.
keep on doing that,minus minus minus,and i'll be left with nothing at the end of the month.
money come,money go.
just like how the river flows.

at least 45 more days.
i need another job.

2009-04-14T21:48:00.000+08:00

"Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep, well nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuse, so just suck up and be nice."

i couldn't agree more.

2009-04-12T02:13:00.001+08:00

stop pondering and start making things good.

i shall be one of those who makes things beautiful.
(:

2009-04-08T19:04:00.006+08:00

for the umpteenth time,i changed the colour of my hair yet again.
black was too dull,right on.
and it's supposed to be light brown shades on my hair now,but no,it looks more auburn.
hair colour gone wrong,but that's okie.
i'm still glad i have hair anyway,no matter what colour it is.hahs.

i met them girls on monday,and they truly made my monday special,since the last time i saw them and spent time with them.
laughing,is always the best therapy needed when i'm with them.it'll drown all your sorrows away.
so from causeway point,to lot one,to choa chu kang park,i was overwhelmed with how much things we updated each other on.
and when i got home,i felt so good i slept soundly until it was tuesday morning.

and this week,is not really a good week.
busy at work,since the partner's off pretty soon,i'm beginning to be independent and i'm learning to work alone. allowance,is not in yet,and yes,still very much broke i don't even know where to dig for more money.i need them since transportation fares has never given justice to me.
can i not be bothered about all these things?yeah,dream on.

my eyes are frigging tired and i'm straining them.i guess i might just go blind pretty soon.

2009-04-04T11:44:00.008+08:00

these days,my ego always bring me into deep shit.
i am seriously trying very hard to kick them away.
cause at times,i doesn't do me any good at all.

i'm looking foward to the months ahead.
possible plans were made,and i just hope everything will turn out smoothly.
a planned party at a hotel suite for a night with the OLDEST and favouritest mates(which,i'm still trying to find a good deal.probably at siloso beach resort.okie,this i can't wait cos i heard lots of plans made), possible KL trip in June with Senoritaz.
i need those getaways,not forgetting,i have to start saving up for those getaways pretty soon. (:

and i dig Anggun and her voice.
Melodiously beautiful.

2009-03-30T20:35:00.004+08:00

sometimes,i can't bring myself to say the things that i need to say.
no matter how much my head's about to burst holding them in for too long.

ergh.

i'm wishing to fall asleep while staring at the stars in the sky tonight.

2009-03-29T11:45:00.004+08:00

Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like something's just aren't the same
What could I say?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away
(I wonder just where you are)
Was it something I said?
Or something I never did?
Or was I always in the way?
(Was it something I did?)
Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
Again

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
But every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

2009-03-29T07:45:00.004+08:00

i didn't know that there's flea market over at changi village every saturday night.
papa brought us there to have ayam penyet yesterday,and we were strolling around,spotted the flea market along the road.
and gah!i was drooling and having my eyes on those pretty frilly dresses which were super cheap.
but the thing is,i am fucking broke,and there's no way neither mama nor papa will spare me some cash.
so that was it.saturday,changi village,ayam penyet,found a flea market,left empty handed.and i was pretty disappointed.
but the ice cream that we had before going home,made me a happy kiddo once again.
i've always love ice cream and sweet cravings.makes me feel so good.

friday,my beloved sandals gave way at work.
and i have to use staples all around the soles just to keep them together.
but the sharp ends pricked every part of my feet and i had to practically dragged my feet all the way from work,to mama's workplace to wash up before meeting hafiz over at town.
and yet again,though i was broke(still am), i had to get new footwear.
so i dragged hafiz to far east,wasn't liking the slippers there cause i wanted to go over to Mphosis but i was pretty sure they are expensive.
i settled for a black slip-ons hafiz chose,and it's seriously comfortable,except for the fact that the linings are biting on my blisters,but it'll gets better over time,i'm sure.

and the time spent at town was short.
had dinner at BK,hafiz was almost furious all the way with the fact that he had to fork out his savings to pay for his fines(he went thru 3 ERP gantries without having cashcards on Thursday),both of us were broke,but he still bought himself a nice black pair of shoes,and by 8pm,we were already making our way back home.

oh gawd,if only i'm not broke.
yes,totally broke and its sucking the life out of me.
never felt this broke in my entire life.(look how much i've emphasised on BROKE)
i even told hafiz i want to take up another job,but it'll be crazy for me,to be working on weekdays and on weekends too.bah.
whatever the weather,will be better.
come on at least 2 more weeks.
come on payday,i BAADDLY need you.

and gawd.
i don't know why but i fucking hate work.
i hate myself under the sun.
i can't work for shits.
i'm turning so dark i can't even see myself(okie,tu bedek).
i feel like killing all the snails i found in the garden(no matter how much i shouted at the others not to kill them because i adore snails).i feel like kicking every vases there are in the nursery.i feel like chopping down all the trees until the whole garden is botak.i don't care how berserk i'm going to be.(maybe i'll do them at the end of the 16th week *raise left eyebrow*)
oh please,just 11 more weeks(11 MORE WEEKS?!?!)
i am enduring.(oh,and i can't believe i took my first M.C on tuesday.one day of unintended M.C which i wanted to keep it and use it nearing the end if the 15th week.)

work and financial stability have driven me to the deepest of the deepest core of the earth(oh by the way,side-tracked,Earth Hour is super cool.SAVE THE EARTH!)
the only thing that keeps me sane,is watching Hannah Montana.
all the episodes there are on surfthechannel.com.

i can't wait to spend my sunday evening over at Pina's house later.
meeting the cousins will surely brings smiles.
and i'm craving for nenek's sambal tumis telur.
*licking my lips*

2009-03-22T21:42:00.005+08:00

to think that i could have my way to everything.
nobody said it was easy.
i'm still trying to make things the way how i like it.
though i know i can't get things to be perfect at all times.i'm just human anyway.

sometimes,i am (this) close to finding my alter ego.
probably,it can be good.in a sense.
i mean,i love myself.
i've always learnt to accept myself the way i am.my unpredictable temper,moodswings.my ego(though i have an issue with myself with this at times).my ignorance.every single thing.
and further discovering myself,and my alter ego,i believe,won't do me any harm.

i need a peace of mind.serenity.and suddenly,i'm craving for the beach.
in addition to having a good company.

enough blabbering.i'll make the time for myself one fine day.surely.

i have the sudden urge to stock scented lavender or caramel candles in my heaven space.
and when it rains,and when there's nothing in my way,i'll light them up,place them on every inch of the room.accompanied with soft pillows,the sound of the rain thudding on the window panes and a good book in hand.
that'll truly makes me contented.

now,that's the reason why i love rainy seasons.

i've been craving for those girls.
but i guess,each and everyone has been too busy.
my egos aside,i miss them too much.
i just hope they're reading this soon enough.
i love you girls,and though i know i've been busy with my attachments and stuffs,i still have all the time in the world for you both,you know.
that can never change.and i guess i've missed out on lots of stuffs?and as much as i hate to say this,i don't even want us to drift apart.me and you girls.just don't forget me alright.
i miss us.

i guess i'm done for tonight.

2009-03-21T12:01:00.002+08:00

last night,i have this weird dream.
i think i have weird dreams everynight.
but as the day pass by,i'll always forget those dreams.
every single,intricate details,like the dreams didn't even happen.

i believe i'm living a quiet life nowadays.
practically dragging myself out of bed every morning,shower,and off to work.and work will last me up to 4pm,when that's the best time to set foot off home straight.tired.shagged.and almost dying of fatigue.
and the weekends is always the best time for all the gateways you can never get to have on those weekdays where you're stuck with work.
well,life is just as simple as it seems when you have the daily routine to stick to every single day.

not much things happened over the last few weeks.
last saturday,was out with the sister,Buddy Din and some of sister's buddies,late night at clarke quay.watching the match till wee past morning.
and sunday.a meet-up with the 9 years buddies over a wedding invitation of Ijah's brother last weekend.
when it comes to every sunday nights,i'll be dragging myself back into bed early,dragging the days ahead.
oh god,let june fly by FAST.

results was okay.
not too good,but not to bad either.
but the night before the release,it was a killer.
Hafiz tried cheering me up with the usual talks we will always have before it's light's out for the both of us.
the sister was having her jitters,and i kept waking up to her lappy's screen's lightings.damn annoying but i just covered myself back to sleep though it didn't help and i had to keep on waking up and the same thing happened till 5am.
when it comes to 6am,i was shouting like a mad woman knowing the fact that the results were out,and i managed to scrape thru everything.Alhamdulilah.
no more school!but then,i miss school.
believe me,when you've join the workforce,no matter how much you once hated school,you will want to be back in school.
i'm serious.

too many things in my mind currently.
after june,there's still things to tend to.
and i've made up my mind on what to do after june.
hopefully,everything will go as i've planned.

oh,and it's the weekend!
you can just tell how much i adore weekends now;since i took the weekends for granted before i started working.hahs.

okie,i'm off!

2009-03-11T19:39:00.002+08:00

i spent the whole morning chopping down banana trees at work.
i had fun,chopping,and shouting 'TIMBERRRR!!' when the whole tree was about to fall.
but i was shagged,due to the hot sun,and i was ridiculously covered from head to toe with an old hoodie and my jeans and boots,as snakes are common in the shrubs or on the banana plants at my workplace and i'm petrified if ever they fall on my head or into my shirt =X

when i got home,the girlfriends called.
and apparently,they were in search of a job.and i was crapping with them.
but then,dyla suddenly came up with the topic of what i had done for the day.
"shah,lagi baik sekarang kau pegi mandi,solat.dengar cakap aku."
and i was like,'hmm..oh okie?' and then hung up,leaving me pondering.

now i'm really curious.
do banana trees really have spirits?

2009-03-04T17:47:00.005+08:00

work has been a hell-of-a-time for me.

being attached to mandai orchid garden,was,HELL.

so we basically dig shit,eat shit,play with shit.every single shit that you can think of.

and at the end of the day,i'll just collapse on my bed,with fatigue.

erm okie.

actually it wasn't that BAD.(yeah riiiggghhhttt)

first day,my partner and i had to play in piles of decompose mushroom soil.

i saw snakes along the way.

second day,we propagated plants,and we fished for catfish!ahah yes.but not until the rod broke into half.=(

and on the third day,we jumped into and cleaned the dirts in the pond,did gardening and maintaining of the garden which are full of insects,mosquitoes and snakes,and did propagation again.

I AM FARKING DOING A GUY'S DAMN JOB!(

my fingernails are rotting.my feet are full of blisters.my back's aching.my butt's hurting.and i'm dying from skin allergies.(not forgetting the risk of being bitten by goddamn snakes!)

but,i can never complain.

15 more weeks.15 more weeks.that's it!

but i love the friends i made there though.

derrick,sutomo(my partner),justin,fin are all crazy people,so at least they made my days at work fun,but the SP students are leaving after 7th week,leaving me,phin and justin.(boo.)

NOW I MISS WORKING IN A LAB BECAUSE I CAN NEVER WORK IN A LAB ANYMORE.I MISS SCHOOL!JUST GET ME OUT FROM THAT HELL!=(

okie now,stop whining and get back to reality.i have to.

i can't wait for the weekends now.

i miss my girls.

i need them,really really badly.

work had suck the hell from my weekdays.

oooh,and somebody's a barista at coffeebean!

haha.AYIN!pure chocolate satu,please!*wink*

she knows i love her.and she knows i love coffeebean pure chocs!haha(:

well,off to shopping with mama now!

2009-02-28T09:35:00.015+08:00

i am so over the moon!
No more exams.no more exams.no more exams!(:

My Friday was indeed perfect!

Was done with the last ever paper and i went straight home to change to get ready to meet Hafiz in the evening.
We were at first hesitating to go or not to go to the All American Rejects' secret gig at Zouk.
cos we have to be in stripes and be the first 400 to be in the queue.
I wanted to go cause i still didn't come up with any plans and i wanted to see AAR live,so i went home,ransacked the wardrobe,and found an old brown stripey short dress.
and we decided to go!

cabbed to changi,he picked me up from there.
when we reached,the queue had already started to form outside Zouk.
and we waited for almost 3 freaking hours,cause the gig only started after 10pm.
(we should have watched movie first.grr.)
we had fun,they played most of their old songs,sang and dance along.the crowd was not that awesome but still,they were hyper.
Tyson was very vulgar,and i laughed at his remarks now and then.
"Sing,you motherf*cker*".isn't he cute?haha.
and since our wristband could entitled us to free admission into zouk before 12am,most took advantage of it,just to queue for the wrist band only,and got out of the queue.how nice.-_-"

off to town after that.
wanted to catch a movie,we wanted to watch my bloody valentine,but it wasn't in 3d.and we changed our mind.
met Mimah at the usual place,had burger king for late night supper.
by after-midnght,i was already super worn out.
hafiz sent me home,the morning was ubber cold and even my cardigan didn't help.
i fell asleep after his call when he got back,half dying from fatique.

today,since mama and papa aren't working,it's a family day!
deciding to go to east coast,but let's just see about that.

and the GST's money's banked in!
i am a very happy girl.
i smell shopping coming my way!((:

and this song is freaking stuck in my head since yesterday.gah!

2009-02-25T20:34:00.003+08:00

1)i'm counting with my two fingers to Friday.
2)i was almost killed by the killer paper in the afternoon.
3)i'm having a mental drainage.
4)i realised i've gone on a hiatus for about a week.
5)i still won't be doing a proper update till Friday.
6)I still wish Friday will come FAST.
7)I've been hibernating,not meeting with my girls the whole week.
8)I've finally planned an outing with my Senoritaz girls,but still have yet to confirm since Fai's bro will get married on that 14th,and we were actually invited after the date were settled.
9)I'm still planning on a 'where to' date with the boyfriend on Friday.(Wah sia,i miss Hafiz like hell-0)
10)I've yet to study for my last paper on Friday.
11)I need my sleep right now.

2009-02-19T22:33:00.002+08:00

i am almost like a walking zombie today.
3 freaking hours of sleep got me high in the head.
the painful thudding kept going on and on,never ending until i got home from the library and slept for a while till the boy called to check on me and to indicate that he's home.
every single calls and text messages always makes me feel better.

i was starting to lose my grip on things until i came back to my senses.
the two reports has been taking a toll on me the past week.
i shouldn't have procrastinated a lot.
i should have just started early so i could start on my revision fast.
damn,i've just burnt my study week,just like that.
wake up already!

somethings are never meant to be said,but are meant to be felt.
and i realise,i love you more than the word means.

2009-02-18T22:37:00.006+08:00

anger is not a good thing,not when you weren't clear of the whole situation.
maybe because of all the things you were going thru,jumbled up into one.
making you push your anger limit button,in addition to those unanswered calls and messages.
don't ever keep me waiting.i can be extra paranoid and pissed off when there's too much in my head.

okie.i should just learn to chill a bit and never let the situation takes control of me.
i will always learn to take control of it.
trust me,i've always does,i know this is never me.
maybe,the time of the month is coming,yet again.
my mistake today,pardon me love.

oh,and my determination to complete a report all in a day is indeed,non-futile.
i'm capable of doing something on my own and doing it extra carefully.
one burden off,one left before friday.

i'll get back to my usual self,very soon enough.

2009-02-17T22:58:00.002+08:00

been spending the whole day at tan tock seng.
accompanied nenek with her appointment;but was at SGH before that.
bumped into Jaszy on the way to grandad's ward,and god,i miss that girl.we'll meet soon again,okie?(:
i love hospital's smell.
the smell of medicine,the wards.death.morphines.
its like a dose of ecstacy which travels thru your nostrils,into your veins,your neurones,giving you those slight tingles in you.
i like it.
okie,that's weird.i know.
i can't help it.

if i'm given an opportunity,i would love to work in a hospital.
really.

i finally got my haircut.
initially,i wanted to retain the length,but the stylist told me that it won't balance out if i layered the hair.
so she told me,she'll trim the ends.
i was like,"hmm.okie."
but after she snapped some off,i was already alarmed.
i dread looking at the locks she chopped off,my precious long awaited locks.
i was sad.but i kept quiet.
agony in silence.
(erm,i actually sound pathetic like that)
but it wasn't that bad,come to think of it.
hair will grow.yes.*self-comforting*

i feel good cause i get to help buddy with something today.
hearing him out eventhough i know i didn't do that much.
i hope he'll be okie and i know pisces are nice people.
but been there done that,for once,be a lil selfish for your own good.
it won't hurt that much,for any parties.
(:

been rummaging thru my wardrobe in the morning.
and i found so many old photos of myself and sister carrie.
aww.i miss being a child.
so young,so innocent,so pure.
those times when you just know your parents love you like no other.
and you don't even disappoint them with shitty things you'll tend to do when you've grown up.
i miss being a kid.*cries*

i love it when i got to talk to the girlfriend on the phone even for just a while just now.
makes you take off things in your mind.
that's the reason why i love the bestfriends.

and uhoh.i think i've just twisted my ankles.
just by sitting down.
pfft.

2009-02-16T22:31:00.010+08:00

little did i know,it's already monday.
and i almost forgot about the two remaining assignments to be submitted on friday.
2 submissions in one freaking day,mind you.
and they're at least a report of 4-5 pages each.
man,i hate reports like hell.

currently,i'm still searching for the right definition of cGMP.
i'm trying to rake my brain forming simple sentences.
gawd,English language was almost over with since 4 years ago,and now i still need to do reports using nicely structured sentences in proper english.
i'm whining,i know.

yesterday's dinner with the family was superb.
we tried Pastamania over at Downtown east,and i'm in love with their Alfredo.
mama knows me best,''kakak maner-maner makan mesti ader cheese or cream eh''.
haha.yes mama.tengoklah pipi anakmu ini yang sebakul tak akan turun-turun.
papa and danny had 12-inch pizza,adli with his bolognaise,and ayin with her spicy chicken.
in addition,there were 16 pieces of chicken,and we really feasted on them.
to top it all,we didn't really splurge,cause we realised that the bill costs much lesser that the usual Swensens',Breeks or Pizza hut dining we had.

i'll treat the whole family the next time when i've got my pay,okie okie?(:

anyway,there's 2 things i need to do:
1)say goodbye to my almost dead Motorazr,and i need a new phone,fast!
the phone has always been dying on me,till it makes me frustrated at times.
2)get new clothings for the wardrobe(okie,eventhough we just went shopping 2 months ago).it's hard being girls,when people will always notice the same clothes you'll tend to wear over and over again.

so there,my wish lists before march comes peeping in,hopefully(:

oh oh oh,first paper in another 1 week's time.
i think i'll screw DDD damn badly.
i hate hate hate CHEMISTRY.
dear god,just let me scrape thru it,and i'll be done.
AMIN.

it hurts to see both atuk and nenek in these state.
though we do know the reality,their conditions,the whole family's praying for both of your well being.
hearing atuk reminisced his past,smiles,making jokes and doing his cute antics while visiting and talking to him at the hospital,and seeing nenek so calm and composed eventhough she knows the real situation she's facing which may 'eat-up-her-days-slowly',made the tears fall from my eyes.
it was a double blow to the family,still are,but you can't deny the fate god brings to us as a family.
i still believe everything happens for a reason,and whatever it is,we do have to accept them.
still.get well soon,grandparents.we love both of you,very much.

i need to meet my girls.
my 'i-need-to-be-alone' moments are over,and i still think i can't live without them.
they'd been the drugs since forever.

i'm really into those sappy old love songs these few days.
never fails to lullaby me to sleep.

i need sleep.sleep.sleep.

2009-02-15T10:22:00.002+08:00

don't ask me how i spent Valentine's(like as if it's a big deal).
no girlfriends.no boyfriend,nobody.
but i'm just contented enough to get to spend it with the family over at the hospital while everyone's holding bouquet of flowers,walking hand-in-hand here and there.

My saturday was a family day,eventhough the day started off with me getting pissed and mad at certain people.
on such a small,simple irritating matter.
but someone made me realise that whatever it is,my bantal busyuk is always there to comfort me,even at that point of time when i just felt like crying while getting pissed.
so people,i'm not ashamed to say that i still have my bantal busuk,even at the age of coming to 21.
and no,nobody can get their hands on it.not even you,mister!
throw it out of the window,and i'll never forgive you,NEVER!
hehe.(:

finally,i just get to know where i'm attached to.
Mandai Orchid Garden.
i love that place eversince i had that fine-dining dinner there for Dina's birthday two years back.
i love flowers,but i've never dreamt of having to work there.lest having internship there.
so,alhamdulilah.
four months working with flowers,and i couldn't ask for more.

oh by the way,I got my GST offset package letter!
200 bux will be credited to me on 1 March,and another 200 in July.
as much as i wanted to be a tweenager,yet again,i love being 21!
haha.
but gotta start saving up already.
-_-"

today's a sunday.
lazy sunday,again.
the dad's out with the lil bro,everyone's going out soon.
if i have no plans,i think i'll just hibernate myself at home.

that,will do.
(:

2009-02-12T16:41:00.007+08:00

being in 2009(eventhough its still early) has got me realising certain things.

1)do not be very complacent in life.
2)a 'double blow' news didn't move me that much,not until i am all alone,doing some self reflections and wham!i know life's short and i must not take the time that i have for granted.
3)but after some time,i'll be back to square one,living like there's still tomorrow,still thinking of having the time of your life and what-nots.
4)maybe i'm still very curious at this age,hence the views in life at this point of time.
5)i'm becoming more of an ignorant and independent girl/woman/pompan(whichever way you may view me,i don't care),not clingy to others,but with my ownself.
6)but at the same time,i still need my daily dose of laughters and tears and the friendships forged since years ago.i can't live without these for a single day.
7)the bonds made with the family has never been better,though sometimes,i won't get to meet the sister for the entire day(when i wake up,she's not there,and when i fell asleep at night,she's not at home yet or vice versa kinda thing)but we'll always never fail to make up for everything on the days when everyone of us are free.
8)i must start thinking of what i'm gonna do with life,fast!as i'm almost done with school.
9)too much freedom equals to too little time spent sleeping at home on the days i have no school,hence,no more late night msn-ing and the usual things i did when i tried to stay up late till the wee hours of the morning as i'm already too tired when i get home.
10)my love for books are back!and i can't live without it anywhere i go now.haha.

life has been good to me,no doubt.
but i've still yet to explore more.
not being in my own enclosure any longer always makes me wiser and mature in some ways or the other.

and one learning point which makes me stronger in facing more challenges to come if there's any(i know there will be,though):
i've learnt to accept changes at any point in my life.
that,i'm very certain of.

Sweep me off of my feet
Take me back to the beginning
The night when we first met
Don't fake in here; keep a secret
You're not close enough to hear it
The night when we first met..

i'm totally hooked to this song.nice stuff.

and i'm in love.

2009-02-11T23:21:00.002+08:00

i spent time with my girls after school.
and school was such a waste of time just now since no attendance was taken.

met up at Lot 1 since it has been a looong time since i went there.
changes changes,but it's not really a big deal since i'm no longer residing somewhere there.
haha.
window shopped,and decided to slack at darla's place till evening,and off to plaza singapura to search for things while dyla went for dikir training.
window shopped again,search for some stuffs over at Daiso and Spotlight and had dinner at Istana Park.
i love that place,dim and very very romantic ambience.
it doesn't help when you have your girlfriend as a company there.
haha.
but still,i love you darla.
we should go there again to just sit and talk.(:

i'm gonna try my hands on baking these few days since i'm freaking free and i'm not gonna start mugging just yet.

i know life's tough,but with all the people around to love me and be loved by me,i'm such a happy girl!

2009-02-10T22:52:00.005+08:00

I AM FINALLY DONE WITH FINAL YEAR PROJECT!

hooray!

so the presentation wasn't that bad.
alhamdulilah,everything went on smoothly.
the proffesor was super nice.
and we managed not to stumble here and there.
finally,my last project and presentation in my whole entire poly life is over.
no more worries on my shoulders.
no more having sleepless nights wondering how the presentation was gonna be like.
no more having to wreck my nerves trying to simplify and modify the final slides.
no more.no more.
and i'm more than happy.
eventhough there was a tinge of sadness between the both of us when the proffesor said, 'okie,thank you girls'.
and we were like,'oh what?that's it?that's the end of everything that we had been through together?'
we were very relieved,but its quite sad knowing that everything has to end.
every single tears we shed and all those hardwork we'd put in the past one year.
it's done and over with (:

so now,gotta concentrate on the final exams.
just 3 more weeks to go,and that's it!

i can finally sleep in peace now before starting my mugging sessions.
the last mugging session i'll have,hopefully(:

i'm very fond of them(:

ps/let's have fun right after the last paper,lovelies?((:

oh and yes,the senoritaz need catching up to do,wait,maybe i need those catching up with them.done with everything,set a date with them,cause i miss them too much.i need those reminiscing moments.i miss secondary school.everything.just hang on babes.much loves(:

2009-02-08T09:50:00.003+08:00

my saturday was spent lazying in the afternoon sun in sentosa,with hafiz.
just like good ol' days.
i wanted to play in the water,but darn me,i forgot to bring all the necessary clothing.
and so,we sat on sand(our mat was swarmed with sand.hahs),had little naps,hafiz did some reading aloud to me,i fell asleep on his lap.
i adore those saturdays with him,i do.

and finally,i rode Thursday with him.
cruising along the expressways,basking in the heat in KPE,practically shouting to each other instead of talking,had issues with the mat(tikar eh,tikar),and our bags(reminder:next time,only one of us will have to bring a bag!haha).
and we had our dinner at Jalan Kayu,and i didn't know their kway teow goreng was nicee.

ah gee,i love that boy.

and when i got home,mama was like,'asal siang sangat kau balik nari?'
cos it was just 8 plus,and on a usual saturday night,i would always get home so late after spending the day with hafiz.
and i was like,'mama nie,orang balik siang,bising,balik lambat pun bising'.
haha.mama mama.

and i wish today mama didn't have to work.
i could just ask the whole family out today.

now,off to shower.
need need to meet kash for final touch up,meeting the girlfriend thereafter.

happy sunday,people!
(:

2009-02-05T20:11:00.002+08:00

set it right.
i just don't want any changes.
that's all i'll ever ask from you.

sometimes,i wish i can travel.
i even wish i can study overseas.
i just want to see the world.
to paris.milan.
i want to visit Bali..
i just have this super temptation to travel far far away.
away from the busy life in Singapore.

i think i'm gonna start saving up once i start working!

i'm gonna set my priorities right first before everything.
oh,life.(:

2009-02-04T22:58:00.003+08:00

those little things that certain someone can do which never fails to make you laugh or just to plaster a smile on your face.
god,i love it.

and so,i've decided to get a new hair-do.
with bangs.i miss having bangs framing my chubby face.
soon,pretty soon.

and after a few years with the lappy,and am an idiot at its functions,i've just learned to use every buttons.
and coolio.i love the automatic screenshot function.
gah.

oh,i'm flushed out,dead beat,and i'm tucking in early tonight.
and maybe,i should go on a hiatus soon.
just maybe.
ah well,good night(:

ps/awaiting the weekend!
*double smile*

2009-02-03T23:15:00.001+08:00

i've been falling sick again and again these days.
but i just couldn't seem to get the rest i needed.
internal presentation's done,and it doesn't turned out pretty well.
modifications of the slides needed,sleepless days.
major external presentation coming up next tuesday.
and i still have those outstanding assignments due before the final exam in two weeks time.
i'm screwed and i wish i could just sleep and get well before i can have all the energy to complete them these few days.
i'm screwed.
=(

Hafiz was a total sweetheart,surprised me with a box of pizza under my void deck just after i got home from school in the evening.
i wanted to meet him after school,but i was held back by my massive headache and went home straight,apologising to him.
and damn it feels so good to finally get a hug and a kiss from him,but i was cautious about me infecting the flu bug to him.
can't deny that i've been missing that boy terribly these few days and i wish i could have more time spent with him.
i really miss those sunset-watching and stargazing moments with him,and i hope we'll do them again soon after both are finally not very busy with our things.
thank you love,for everything (:

oh,and you better tell your parents soon that you already got yourself your bike eh,please eh!
(:

counting down to the last week of me being in school next week.
and yes,except for the thoughts of having to complete those assignments first,i'm super super contented!
no more school((:

gawd.i need sleep.
like really.
like really really.
i hate it when that thudding headache comes back again and again.
pfft.

2009-02-01T23:23:00.005+08:00

i've always love this girl,hardcore!(:

like they said,life is just like a rollercoaster.
sometimes you're up,and sometimes you're down.
situations are either on your side,or not on your side at all.

hope you'll be well soon,atuk.
we love you,you know(:

amidst all the things that has been happening lately which made me super busy or super demoralised or super fatigue,there's just a few reason to keep me smiling.

the family's love.
those little-but-means-a-lot care from the close ones.
the laughters,made-my-day never ending sessions by my precious other half which never fails to lift me up whenever i'm feeling low.
oh how i love you guys,so much(:

and after giving much thoughts,i've finally deleted the friendster account of 5 years.
goodbye friendster,thanks for all the memories and the friends made,but i'm moving on.
i'm a big girl now.haha.oh goodness.

and it's already february!
Hello February!
i really can't wait till all's over and done with,and bye bye poly life.
Hello 'i-don't-know-how's-my-future-gonna-be' life.
urgh.

wait.i still think i'm sticking to my original ambition/passion/career pathway.no matter what it takes.

oh,i'm a strong woman!(=

2009-01-31T00:44:00.005+08:00

i miss being thirteen.
i miss being fourteen.
i miss being fifteen.
i miss being sixteen.
i miss being seventeen.

if i could just have one wish,i would love to go back to those days.
rewind back to the good old days where i had fun all day,worrying about nothing.but still in those times,no matter how hard i played and had fun,i'd always managed to scrape thru everything.EVERYTHING.

god,i miss those days.
can i not grow up?

2009-01-29T15:02:00.002+08:00

i'm really not looking forward to the days ahead.
busy busy,fyp.
internal and external presentations.
overdue workloads.
it's a dread,and i'm trying to hold on,there.
must work hard,a few more weeks to go.

i'm seriously in deep thought over my future.
there's times when i just don't know what's best for me.
there's times when i know what my passion is and to go for it.
and there's times when i think,i'm not even ready to face the future.
i scare the shit out of myself seriously sometimes.

i just need a day for myself,to sit and think everything through.
to self reflect(i don't even know when's the last time i did this).
and just scribble everything and find some comfort in my little personal diary.

now,i seriously need a good time management.

2009-01-28T10:21:00.006+08:00

kids grow up fast,don't they?

meet aley,my littlest baby cousin who's not so baby now.=p :

when she was just days old(pardon my minah face dulu-dulu.haha)

i was browing thru cuzzie's webpage,and i was so fond of aley's pictures!

and meet aley now,just turned two years old and oh-shoooo-cute!

now i wish i could have a lil baby sister too.but oh noo.no more baby troubles.haha.

just wait until i get married so i can have my own child.but wait long long lah ehhh..=p

ps/thank you syaza for your eclairs!toes licking good seh!((:

2009-01-26T15:37:00.009+08:00

no usual morning/afternoon/evening messages.
i'm going crazy!

so anyway,happy new year,everyone.

went kitchen shopping at cold storage with daddy and the kids in the morning.
when it comes to the new year,it's a ghost town everywhere in singapore.
i was a bit disappointed because when i finally have the craving for amos cookies,the store has to close and it'll only be open on the 28th.damn.

the past weekend,was very lovely.
saturday's bbq was good,except for the fact that ash and su didn't join us for the bbq part.
went cycling,and i was panting like a mad dog.
Hafiz came by pretty early,and i was so happy to see him,like finally.

yesterday,had a stay-in date with Hafiz.
reached very early in the morning,he brought me around his area,to the squash and tennis court,the swimming pools,to the spot he always stargazed or to read,and the weather was perfect for a whole day of staying in and doing nothing.
i love his apartment,facing the resort-like swimming pool of the condo,it was wonderful.
watched dvd,and when we were searching for things to cook for lunch in the kitchen,there was a lack of supply,and so,fried omellete,had rice,cincalok(shrimp paste) and kicap.lapar,sumer bedal je.haha.
and we had an issue with his fridge while trying to plug on the rice cooker,it was funny.
it was raining when we fell asleep in the early evening while watching tv and lazying on the sofa.
but i enjoyed his company for the day,away from everything.
night fell,sent him off at rochor to board a taxi to jb since he's spending his cny holiday there.
now now,faster come back hafiz.
i miss you like a mad dog already.
:(

currently waiting for nenek and the cousins to arrive as they are staying over today.
planned to have dinner over at changi village in the evening.
and i'm so tempted to stuff myself with junks today since the fridge has just been restocked with what-nots.

i seriously feel like a lazy,fat kitty!

2009-01-23T23:25:00.004+08:00

i remembered lip synching to this when i was just 11.
we were still in primary 6,and i remembered having this one clique of 5,including me.
Izziana,Lenny,Nora,Silah and me besides the outnumbered malay boys in our class.
and us 5 would pretend that we're Bardot,singing to their songs,our macam paham attitude.
and we were just in our tweens,mind you!
haha.
i miss those girls,though i know everyone of us are leading our own life now.

and i wonder what happened to Bardot?
i am still very much in love with their songs,even today.
(:

full weekends ahead!

gotta get some sleep now.(:

2009-01-22T08:51:00.004+08:00

school's coming to an end pretty soon.
busy period ahead.
FYP external presentation in 2 weeks time.
Assignments meeting their deadlines.
my very last exams in 4 weeks time.
everything,is starting to stream in.
and in times like this,the daily planner comes in handy.
and even then,its filled up right to its brim.
oh my,i'm getting pretty paranoid.

but so anyway,days have been good.
i've been getting myself familiarised around the east side.
often been in tampines or pasir ris and town-ing with my favourite people.
i think i'm too preoccupied with my life,and i'm loving it.
like they said,being with the people you love,makes you contented in every way,every day(:
you know who you girls/guys are.thank you for being a part of my life.(:

i've been turning myself in early lately after the never fail daily night calls from Hafiz.
and i feel so good,to wake up not feeling tired or sleepy,and i've been starting my days right.
i wish this will never end.

my hands are itching to get a few good books from the library.
i still want to get my hands on New Moon,Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.
I want Jodi Picoult's Nineteen Minutes and The Tenth Circle.
i know i couldn't get them anywhere at the library,so there's no other choice but to hit Borders.
i wish i have all the money in the world.
gah!

I guess my CNY's holidays are gonna be packed.
Saturday's East Coast,pit and chalet with love.
Sunday with the family.
Monday too.
and Tuesday will be with the favourite people.
i can't wait.

and i miss the boyfriend.like seriously. =(

2009-01-20T22:26:00.002+08:00

1,2 - 1 2 3 4
give me more lovin then i've ever had.
make it all better when i'm feelin sad.
tell me that i'm special even when i know i'm not.

make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
barely gettin mad,
im so glad i found you.
i love bein around you.
you make it easy,
as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4.)

theres only one thing two do three words four you.
i love you.
(i love you)

theres only one way two say those three words
and that's what i'll do.
i love you.
(i love you)

give me more lovin from the very start.
piece me back together when i fall apart.
tell me things you never even tell your closest friends.
make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
best that i've had.
im so glad that i found you.
i love bein around you.
you make it easy as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4.)

theres only one thing two do three words four you.
i love you.
(i love you)

theres only one way two say those three words
and that's what i'll do.
i love you.i love you
(i love you)

you make it easy, its easy as 1234
theres only one thing two do three words four you i love you
(i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
thats what ill do i love you
i love you i love you.
one two three four i love you.
i love you

I adore this song!
(:

2009-01-18T19:56:00.007+08:00

i kinda love my picture(my hair's grown!) which Hafiz randomly took.like they said,random shots could prolly turn out awesome!((:

so,good sunday evening,people!

i've been hibernating at home today.
walking up and down the house,trying to find something to do around the house.
helped mama with the cooking today.
did early morning laundry.
sneezing while the house got cleaned.
and i just realised,i have a very comfy house to live in.
small living room,small dining area.small kitchen.
but still,fit for six!

i love my house.

i love my house.period.

come to think of it,sunday is usually the only day that i can have my whole butt in the house.
just lazying around,helped out,gorged like there's no tomorrow and then sleep all you can.
and i enjoyed lying down on the bed,watching the night sky.
the stars.
like how i'm doing right now.
oh,i love the night.
i can't wait for the weekends,yet again.
and the next weekend will be a looong one.
very nice.

been browsing thru victoria's secret catalogue.
and i'm in love with the camisoles they had.

i want this!urgh!

and everything is on sale!
temptations temptations.
told mama i want that,but again,i have to wait till i earn my own income.
wait wait wait.
i'm patient.

off for dinner now!
(:

2009-01-17T23:02:00.002+08:00

friday night in town.chilling while just enjoying the companies.saturday at east coast,strolling from one end to the other,ice cream,marshmellow fondues,breakwater chatting,and back from one end to the other and dinner.

the usual warm hugs and random sweet kisses.
love,you never fail to make me smile.

2009-01-15T22:06:00.003+08:00

the bestfriends came over.
dyla did my hair,cuddled up and watched videos in bed,watched vcd,sang songs,just slacked while enjoying each other's company since the last we had.
yes,i love them,more than i love chocolates,and stargazings and red roses put into one.
(:

while watching Susuk with them,i receive 2 anonymous calls.
thinking it was nothing important and i hate picking up anonymous calls,i ignored the first.but when the person called twice within a few seconds,i just felt i had to pick it up.
so,Dr Tan called.
i cringed because i'm a bit scared when it comes to school matters.
i thought i was gonna be reprimanded for skipping some DDD lectures.haha.
but no.it was about my attachment programme and he told me they wanted to post me to this one plant and tissue culture lab somewhere i forgot to ask.
he told me,the lab only need one student for the attachment and looking at the modules i took(i took plant and tissue culture last sem,by the way)and i scored for it(haha.okie takyah nak action because that was the only module i can score last semester.),he told me to consider letting them put my name and accept the offer.
so,as i didn't want to miss this opportunity having to try working in those labs eventhough i'll be all alone,i accepted it.
alhamdulilah.at least i know i'll get attached to somewhere.*phew*.

my body muscles are giving me problems.
i keep having stitches everywhere.
my arms,shoulders,joints.
and my hands and legs always feels cold eventhough its sunny.
and i keep on sneezing one whole day today.
oh whyeee.don't let me be sick,please.

and i'm in love with edward cullen in Twilight.
i'm almost done with Twilight,and i'd finally get to watch the movie on the internet in the afternoon.
i love his eyes,his mean gaze,his smile.
i drooled over him.
and gah.i still think vampires are sexy.very sexy creatures till i don't mind to meet a real one and offer them my jugular veins.
haha.crap.
but okie final,i still think robert pattinson aka edward cullen aka vampire is sexy,as sexy as the red lingerie night dress i am eyeing on.
*faints*

wait,i still can't deny the fact that the boyfriend's sexier.
period.
(that way,i won't get myself wasted swooning over non-existing creatures all night.hahs.)

TGIF tomorrow!
yipee ya yo~

2009-01-13T14:07:00.006+08:00

i've been gorging myself with pieces of toasted bread spread with butter since morning.
home alone,with nothing to do.
nobody to accompany.
and its a wonder i'm still surviving.
hahs.

i have a gut feeling that my lappy's dying.
it lags like hell,and makes me frustrated at times.
my hp's dying.
it kept switching on and off by itself.
it's time i should get new gadgets,but i'm freaking broke!
i wish i could just end school fast,search for a high flying job,get paid a few thousands a month,worrying less about my freaking expenses,and indulge in good things.*dreams,dreams*

i still am not so sure what i want to do after graduation.
i badly want to be in the teaching career eversince forever.
but when i went to many university websites,listing the courses and the degree programmes they offered,i just have the urge to continue studying.
i really want to have at least a degree in hand,and looking at all my peers who's trying their best to get into these bachelor programmes after graduation,i am somehow,envious.
but it'll cost a bomb,surely.
maybe i will just stick to the teaching career pathway(i hope i can get into it though,insyallah),and at the same time,try to apply for a degree programme.
i better start planning now,cause i wouldn't want to have any regrets later.

oh,and i found this pretty funny,though there's a slight racist remark.
watch it,it'll crack you up.

"shut up!i kill you!"hahaha.

now,i'm feeling all shitty and restless and agitated.
probably because of the lack of glucose level inside my body today.
i need food.real food.
and i have a bad craving for chicken chop again.
ohmygod what's happening to me.
im eating like a wild beast,lately.pfft.

okie,i cannot tahan already.
can someone please,get home very soon and bring home something for me to feast on??
anything!!

2009-01-12T22:47:00.008+08:00

and so,i skipped the morning lecture again,because i overslept!
only waking up at 9 plus to dhuhaa's incoming text on my phone asking if i am going to the lecture or not.
and again,i panicked,but decided to calm myself down by replying to his message and telling him that i just woke up and i won't be coming.
and dhuha,being the nice little boy that he is,(ehem.dengar tu syaza,NICE boy.haha)helped me with the attendance.phew!thank you adeek dhuha.again,i owe you lah okie!
(:

and since i'd promised my dear girlfriend to meet her supposedly at 1pm yesterday,i had my shower,got dressed because she told me to meet her at 11am instead,but i insisted at 12pm as i couldn't make it.
reached school,had lunch with her and daddy at SIM,and i had chicken chop,two days in a row.
(see boyfriend,now i'm really boncit already.pfft!)

daddy had to go off to class after that,while we found a spot to seat and just mind our own stuffs before i had to leave to the next tutorial for the day for my presentation.

ended,met Carrie,and off to Jurong Point since i've been dying to see the new extended building.
and damn,it was huuuggeeee and i was going 'oohhhs' and 'ahhhss' until i irritated the sister and i know if she could,she would just love to slap me upside down to shut me up.
and since boyfriend 'sold off' his gym duty when he supposedly ended his day at 7.30pm,we met him there after he left camp.
and poor bf didn't look at all better since yesterday.(but he still looks adorable,with his rudolph nose which i just felt like kissing and pinching it but it'll make him go worse.=D )
accompanied Carrie with her dinner,and we decided to take 187 to woodlands home,while bf dropped at lakeside.
and i tell you,i was almost dying in that bus.
i swear the past few days,the busrides have never been good,i don't know why.
grrr.

since one presentation's down,i could at least have a breather until the next one in two weeks time.

and i'm still wondering what i'm gonna do for chinese new year's looong holiday.
since bf's off to malaysia with his family and obviously i can't tag along because i just knew dad wouldn't let me,i'll make plans with the sister.
finally,some good quality time with that lovely sister of mine.
hahs.

and i've got my hands on twilight book!
though it's not mine.haha.(and aku taulah aku slow cause many would have just finished reading the whole series)
i bet i'm just gonna get myself hook on that hotstuff this few days.
oh goody.

and no school for me tomorrow!
(:

2009-01-11T21:54:00.002+08:00

The 1st tattoo show was nice.
i couldn't say more cause i was,yes,speechless.
from a few hundreds of tattoo artistes at work,to the overcrowding enthusiasts,the models with their artistes' masterpieces on their skins and many different kinds of machines used,i was impressed.
it was my first time ever watching these renown artistes creating their own masterpieces using human body as their canvases.
it was a new experience for me,seeing those needles being ticked onto the skins,the designs made on the skin,some adding colours to it.
although i find that paying $18 for about an hour there was not a good idea(actually $18 is for a day whole day pass),it was worthwhile.
boyfriend and i had to squeeze among the crowds to get from one booth to another.
flipping through the tattoo designs which left me in awe at every booth.
if you ask me,if i could,i would love to have one on myself.
but NO,i'll never have it.it's not just because of my religion forbidding it,but also because you have to live with it for the rest of your life,unless if you remove it,which in any case,will leave a permanent scar for the rest of your life too.

this is very sexy.orgasmic!haha.

but still,i guess i'm in love with tattoos and the different designs they have,especially of red roses,stars(ooh,terlalu sexy!) and butterflies.

and guess what?
we managed to brush shoulders with CHRIS GARVER of Miami Ink,unintentionally!
haha.
don't ask me how we did it,because it just happened.
when there were long queues snaking,we managed to shake his hand,talked to him,took a picture with him and got his autograph without really queueing.
how lucky!and boyfriend and i were laughing all the way after that;probably because we didn't even know how we got into the very front of the queue when we were just curious about what the people were queueing for and went right up to the front.(sorry to those people who queued and had to wait hours for their turn.=p )

right after,we went to the John Little sales next door,but it was very disappointing.
we left Expo,empty handed.
but boyfriend managed to shopped for a pants at tampines mall after that.
i guess we spent some time there while waiting before going off to pasir ris to send his friend off.
finally,had our dinner at downtown east,but we waited forever for our chicken chop and lamb chop and by then,he was already looking very sick since his non-stop sneezing.
kesian baby aku tu,asal jumpe aku je sakit,asal sakit je jumpe aku.
haha.okie kidding.but i do hope you'll get better soon,sweetheart.(:

oh,it's monday tomorrow.
i just wish the weekend's longer.
i've never had enough of it.gah.

2009-01-10T15:42:00.008+08:00

This song never fails to lullaby me to sleep.(haha.okie.very jiwang,i know)

i just don't get it at times.people and their own 'making-up stories sessions'.sharing it with others,words travel too soon and little did you know,it comes bouncing to you,the 'object of the show'.come on people,be nice please.you'll never get anything nice in return for making up those stories and hurting the innocents,right?what if it happens to you?how would you feel?

i just won't have anymore say though.now sweethearts,keep doing that,and i believe you'll have a price to pay at the end of the day.(: ps/stay strong.beautiful.you're at your most vulnerable state but you know we're always there,okie?i love you,gf.

it's been a while since i've been at home on a saturday;and yes,i'm home the whole day today.right now,bf's out,late night towning with his besties.i miss the every saturday date sessions with him though.but it's okie cause i'll still be out with him to the exhibitions at Expo tomorrow.John Little sales,baby!(but i wish i have all the money in the world.pfft.)

and i've always loved his random messages;wherever he is.(:

i think i have to start getting myself to be more disciplined.

just 5 more weeks in NP,and i'm out!

i'm such a happy girl(:

2009-01-09T23:46:00.002+08:00

an evening with love at Borders Wheelocks.
i've always love that place.
especially when there's love's companion.
i love books,and i love that boy,very much;especially the stroll we'll always have from orchard to dhoby ghaut after the nights at town.(:

and someone please get me Jodi Picoult's masterpieces,please?
i promise i'll remember you for that.
thank you.
(:

2009-01-08T19:53:00.004+08:00

i've grown too attached to my bed today.i've got no school for the whole day,so,what a better way to spend your day at home while having the time of my life catching up on my beauty sleep.

right now,i'm having an instantenous craving for ice cream.whine to bf about it,and we're gonna get some on sunday.*double grin*

gawd,i miss that boy already.
faster faster sunday come come.

and gah!mama got a new 26" lcd widescreen teevee in her room from papa!tidak adil!okie nevermind i'll still conquer the whole teevee when they're not at home.*muahaha*

hmm.i still want my ice cream now.

2009-01-08T15:14:00.005+08:00

To my precious baby sister,

there's these three words could mean the world to somebody.
and these three words could also bring them down,shatter their hopes.
it's heartbreaking to see you like this.
but come on baby girl,it's just a phase in life.
you'll never know,something wonderful is in store for you right at a hidden corner;waiting for you to pass by,to find.
don't numb your feelings,never be afraid to fall in love again.
because by loving,you learn.
by loving,you get to experience those good things in life.
it's okie to fall and fall again,but learn to pick yourself back up.
every minute things happening in life somehow makes you,you.

always remember,'what doesn't kill you,makes you stronger'.
and by never failing to love,makes you beautiful.

you're beautiful baby sister,and i love you.

oh,and sister:
To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.

"Kau Auraku",remember that!(:

Love,
your sister,who loves you,no matter what.
(:

2009-01-07T22:34:00.003+08:00

there are just words i'll never say,
things i'll never do.

but urgh,this days,i have too much temptations.
too much.

and i just hate things which will leave me wondering for days.
come on,end of the week.
i need you to ease my mind.

2009-01-06T23:10:00.007+08:00

i hate jerky bus rides.
it makes me wanna vomit all the stomach contents,and have major headaches aftermath.
stupid bus driver with stupid driving skill.
urgh.

i need sleep.
i hate deadlines.
i hate assignments.

oh,i love men in uniform.
fetish giler.
haha.

"Out of the dark and into the light
When the morning comes I will be alright..."

ah.i just love this song
(:

2009-01-05T18:35:00.006+08:00

FIRST day of school today.
and what did i do?
almost nothing!

(okie beware cause i'm gonna bore you to death reading my post today.)

had an early morning proteo lecture at 9am.
took the shuttle bus from hougang with the lil sister,had breakfast with her and when it was time for lecture,i headed straight to my LSCT block.
LSCT's lobby had been given a face-lift,and the doors to all the lecture theatres are superb!
the lobby's beautiful,and so i expected a major facelift inside the lecture theatre too,but it was quite disappointing.
same old lecture theatre,and same old state.
oh wells.
and i've always been stoning in lectures,seating beside dhuhaa doesn't help either cause both were stoned.
bah!

headed towards canteen 1 to meet dyla for break.
my first ever break with that girl in school,for new term in the new year,2009.
talked to that girlfriend and accompanied her till daddy arrived.
(:
another break,headed towards BBDC to accompany bf apply for his new license since he passed his 2b license in the morning(congrats,ayee!but you still have to tell your parents about it though.haha)
and the queue was freaking long,cause many were applying for theirs too.
and we waited for more than an hour,after which,off back to school cause i had to attend my last lesson for the day.
and since bf was on a full day leave from camp,he accompanied me to school too.
we managed to check out the new MAKAN PLACE at Blk 51 since he wanted to eat something.

i was pretty disappointed with the place though cause eventhough it is super huugeee(there's Wafflestown and Subway even!),but there's only a pathetic Malay stall.
YES.ONLY ONE MALAY STALL AMONG A WHOLE LOAD OF STALLS THERE.PFFT!
but so anyway,he had hot and cold chengteng,and i had nothing cause there wasn't any interesting food to eat.
i don't quite like the idea of having only one malay stall for the muslims,but i can't deny the fact that the place is quite cool to chill at.(because,compared to the other 4 canteens,this one is fully air-conditioned.cool eyh.)

when the clocked striked 3pm,i had to attend my next class,leaving bf,accompanied by my baby lappy at the benches near blk 56,sampai tertidur2 baby aku tu.(cha sayang hafiz,tau!)
and so,although i know he's tired and sleepy(and we both fell asleep inside the bus)and he needs his rest cause he's going back into camp early tomorrow morning,he still insisted on sending me all the way home after that,before making his way home too.i do feel bad you know,but thank you love(:

and what a wonderful way to be home,with no one in the house to greet me.
hahs.

and that's my monday,my first day of school.*look up*(ohmygod,what an outrageous post.)
haha.

i'm pretty disappointed with things happening to the loved ones.
whatever it is,stay strong lovelies.
cause i'm there whenever you need me.
that's a promise.

and girl,that was harsh.
cause before you pinpoint the mistakes of others,reflect on you yourself,first.
don't make another look bad,cause in case if you don't know it,you're being looked down upon too with that harsh post made.
so girl,think before reacting;cause anger will usually brings people down.

2009-01-04T16:04:00.006+08:00

lazy sunday.

oh what a better way to start the weekdays tomorrow by being in school since it'll be the first day of school,yet again.
back to assignments,waking up early in the morning,rushing for project datelines.
oh man,i wish we have a longer term break holiday.
=(

on a lighter note,a few more weeks till i'm finally out from school!
no more school!
so,i guess it isn't that bad.

and Yes Man was hilarious.
i think i almost laughed my head off at almost every part.
i still wanted to watch Twilight though.
but oh well,the showtimes are limited now.
i have no other choice but to rely on watch-movies.net for that now.

and boyfriend,no way am i gonna try McSpicy double again.
NOT even McSpicy!
even if you force it down my throat.
haha.
sorry baby,blame it on my stomach.
=D

ah gee.can i just fall asleep back again?
Zzzz.

2009-01-03T14:43:00.002+08:00

back to the old school yesterday!

new bulding,old environment.but still,it wasn't the same as it was.

i miss 5A,and being back made me reminisce the 5 years spent in bpghs.

lots of tears,joys and laughters shared.

those rebellious moments while growing up together.

running away from the discipline master because of the skirt,socks,dyed hair and what have you moments.

gawd.i miss the life i had in secondary school.

if only we could just turn back the time.

and met another 4/7 of the senoritaz!

and so we tresspassed our old sec 1 classroom(8 years ago).i miss that classroom:(

with cikgu yati!

grabbed this from syaz's blog!haha.somehow,i love it!(sorry syaz!)and i love each and everyone of them like freaking much,including Dinatz(not in pic!)

and again,my two girls and i had another round of singing session.and yes,i'm officially declaring myself,very much broke!(thanks dahliah for paying another half.kaulah sahabatku hidup mati!)haha.but i had fun,but there was something missing,DADDY!

takde DADDY,takde ROCK.

i've gotta get ready now!

to the swimming pool with the boys and mama!

and yeay!meeting the boyfriend for saturday night movie date in the evening!

ooh.good saturday,people!

2009-01-01T17:19:00.004+08:00

i should be out on new year's day.
but i'm stucking myself at home again,whole day today.
online-ing.
lazying around in bed.
chatting with love on the phone.
teevee-ing.
gah.what a way to start the new year.

i still have my assignments to do,which is due on the 5th jan.
-_-'

and i'm really envious with the sister!
not fair not fair!
can i have fun on friday night with you too,pretty please?
okie,maybe i won't want to.but just have fun,and i trust you to take good care of yourself alright?
i love you sister.(:

and this song got me addicted the whole day today.
darren hayes and his sexy voice.
so sensual,so beautiful.it makes me swooned.

i have the urge to go for a run.
but but,oh nevermind.

now i'm really agitated.
haha.

i need ice cream.
*drifting away while swaying to insatiable*

2008-12-31T19:53:00.005+08:00

it's the 31st,and in a few hours time,2008 is gonna end pretty soon,and everybody will welcome 2009.
ohh.how fast time flies.
i'm still wondering what's in store for me in 2009 though.
*cross fingers and gives a wide smile*

i spent my whole tuesday at the beach,with love.
chilling,picnic,cozying up and did some reading in the sun.
(and tuesdays with morrie is awesome,i tell you!)
and somebody did a good job with his macaroni goreng,trust me,it was super nicee,especially when it was cooked by a guy.
(and i find it sexy when a guy can cook so well,better than us girls.haha)
again,we managed to catch the sunset,but my view was blocked by the 'beware-of-the-things-in -the-water' sign.
and stars too.i love stargazing at sentosa,at night.
and something just never fails to make me smile yesterday,but i guess i'll just keep them to myself,shall i?(:

a new year,a new chapter in my life.
one step at a time,i shall take.(:

no new year resolution for me.cause i know i'm never gonna stick to them.i procrastinate a lot,still do cause i'm never gonna kick that habit no matter how hard i tried.pfft.
but a new year,a wiser me.hopefully!

and okie,maybe people will wonder what the heck is this girl doing at home,blogging on the night of new year's eve when everybody's out to have fun,watching the fireworks and stuffs?
haha.for the very first time on the night of new year's eve,cha's gonna stay-in at home,enjoying the company of my whole family.((:
cha malas lah.very the penat,and to think of the crowds and the aftermath of the celebration everywhere in singapore is,FUYOOOOO.

i'm gonna tuck myself in the sofa now.
waiting for the pizza and junks to come,and then the whole family will stuff ourselves while ushering the night together,watching the fireworks from outside our window as our house has the full view of marina bay,and johor's danga bay(cool kan!) before going in our room to sleep after 12am.
ahhh,WONDERFUL.(:

goodbye 2008,the year of joys and tears.
of the importance of friendships,relationships,and bondings.
of rising and falling,of loving and losing.
of everything.
the year which will leave a whole load of impacts in my life of twenty years.
thank you for everything.
and what more can i say?hello 2009!

lastly,
HAPPY NEW YEAR,EVERYONE!

2008-12-29T08:51:00.007+08:00

my friday before going off for training;Holland V with Syaz,Ir and Idah((:

dear girls,we'll meet again for our PJ party pretty soon alright?

sorry for the short meet-up(esp syaz!),but it was worthwhile.at least terlepas rindu sikit-sikit.haha.we'll meet again very soon,please?

and saya love kamu satu-satu hor.

my saturday;performance at Kampung Melayu

(pics courtesy of atiqa and her blog.sorry wor babe kiter main grab grab!)

rehearsal!

thanks sap for the pizza!

hungry people.

its been a while since my last performance.

but i had fun fun fun with all the adiratna babes.

thank you for the laughters during trainings,helping each other out with the ragams,the 'nak terberak,terkencing dan ter-ter' moments before the performance,everything!

hope to do it with you girls again(open-house performance,maybe?)

and off to lau pa sat,and Central right after that.

walked along clark quay and boat quay,and i was quite excited with the surroundings maybe because i've never went there on a saturday night.it was nicee.

chill near the river bank;watched people screming their heads off riding the G Max.

and i always had tremendous fun with my every-saturday companion.(:

ps/dear awak,thank you for coming down for the performance,love.and thank you for the time spent.you know i've always loved it(: picnic on tuesday,okie?sayang hafiz(:

and right now,i'm missing this two gundus cum the besties cum 'my strengths'.

bila mau kluar lagi?

gua kangen banget2 sama kamu dua sampai boleh pengsan lor!

but wherever you girls are,do take care please.

love you girls.

2008-12-29T01:08:00.001+08:00

i didn't want things to happen the way they were.
when i thought i was deeply in love with you once.
i once trusted you with all my heart,but it hurts when you don't get back that much love in return.
it damn hurts,a lot,mind you.
to think that i've cried on most nights when i know i couldn't even get to meet you as much as i wanted to;to even get to talk to you as much as i wanted to.
and even if we could,it was just short meet-ups,but that doesn't matter,cos every meet ups meant a lot to me.
maybe we weren't even ready to be in a relationship at that point of time.
maybe we weren't even sure if our hearts were really meant for each other.
after a while,somethings just made me realised,letting go was the best option.
it wasn't easy for me,i was in tears every few moments when i kept thinking about it.
my girls were my strength at that point of time,helping me pick up every little shattered pieces back.
but i've never regretted every single thing about it,cause i believe everything happens for a reason.
i still have you to thank for.
for coming into my life,for brightening it up,for being my shoulder to cry on when i needed you.
you still made an impact in my life,even when i got to see you for a short while in the afternoon,'the last short meet-up' after prolly 2 months since i last saw you.
maybe we are better off as friends,like how we used to be.
i still love you,dear friend.trust me,i still do.but its a tad too late.
cause i've numbed that little feelings i have for you to avoid getting myself hurt,yet again.
i'm moving on.and i'm giving others a chance to love me;for me to love them in return,and will never hurt them.cause it's enough with just once.
i just want you to move on,cause i know it'll be better for the both of us.mistakes were made,but its up to us to avoid from making those mistakes again.
but somehow,i still do believe,if we're meant to be,we'll be back again together one day.
for now,let's just savour what we have,and appreciate them.

but there's just one thing i want you to know:
though i've lost you as my other half,i don't want to lose you as a friend.
just promise me you'll still be my friend after that 2 months,please?
i'm hoping for that.

and i guess i've said enough.

2008-12-28T21:57:00.002+08:00

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride

The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See,you got no say at all.

ahhh.LOVE.

2008-12-25T22:10:00.000+08:00

parkway parade;town;bugis.
dresses;shorts;ligerie;belts.

yes.yes.i went shopping!
on a Christma Day!haha.
thank you mama!
i love you!
(:

2008-12-24T16:35:00.002+08:00

let me just list down somethings which i know of myself.

1)i love being alone.but being alone when i'm having pms,is suicidal.(kan girls,kan?haha)
2)i tend to wake up almost every morning,having morning sinus,and keeps sneezing till my nose turns red(irritating,anda tau tak?)
3)i love french fries.but whenever i have them,i'll tend to choke on them till my face turns bright red,or i'll have sores and ulcers on my tongue.(the besties knows me better cause they are always with me when i have them.and that's the reason why i'll never have french fries when i'm on a date.gaga.)
4)i like people watching.i can just sit on a bench and watch people pass by me for a few hours without getting up.
5)i love dates on beaches or anywhere,lying on the mat.watching sunset and stargazing and just doing nothing,while being with someone you are very comfy with.(as i've never been on a date like this before,that's the reason why i love my past two saturdays.ohohoh.butterflies in my tummy!)
6)i love my family,because i know they love me better than anyone loves me.
7)i love having my two besties around because i love getting pampered or 'manja-manja' with them.(awww..i love you girls)
8)i love kisses on the forehead,and on the cheeks.(sorry eh,only i,will decide who can kiss me.haha.)
9)i love to lie on my bed and watch the sky at night when i have nothing to do.
10)i love getting morning messages(especially from people i adore)because it'll simply makes my day.
11)and lastly, i love myself,my life and every single people in it.(alhamdulilah.thank you,dear god for giving me the life i'm having!)

currently,i'm deciding on what to wear to the party later this evening.
i'll be having some fun(NOT!)choosing my dresses in a while.
bpprr.

oh anyway,have a good christmas eve evening,people!
let your hair down,cause,it's a HOLIDAY tomorrow!
*jumps around,tossing my pillows*

haha.
and i'm out(:

2008-12-23T22:31:00.010+08:00

Tuesday with my girls and a rocker.
singing our hearts out,dancing ridiculously.
had McDee after that.
chocking on french fries till my whole face went red(i've always been allergic to them but heck,i'll just eat them till the tongue gets sore)but i could still continue singing.
and i felt so good.

sometimes,you just can't help but to miss.
missing the way everything was,once.
but things have to change.
changes are inevitable.
and that's how life goes.

and no wonder i feel so cranky today.
sorry girls for the sudden change of mood in the beginning part of the day.
i wasn't at all feeling good.
but still,i had so much fun.

haha.and my girls,addicted to this song,eyh?(:

sorry lah was too caught up with the song till you girls had to listen to it and sing along too.

*giggles*

too much jiwang today.

let's switch my mood!

christmas party mode please!
(:

ps/dear hafiz.get well soon okie,awak?*warm hug*(:

2008-12-21T22:31:00.001+08:00

days have been so good i don't even wish for them to end.
and i've been in love with my past two saturdays.

let it just remain as it is.
*all smiles*

and christmas and end of year sales are here!
since i don't think anyone can fulfill anything in my christmas wishlist,might as well i do my own shopping! =D
( oh!and that reminds me.thank you girlfie for the cotton on body black top!:) )

and mama!i want this camisole from la senza,pretty please?((:

ooh.and rachael starr is awesome.
i don't even think i can get enough of her sounds.
(:

2008-12-18T23:13:00.008+08:00

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

when everything seems so perfect,deep down i know,i'm still in an imperfect situation.

it will never be.

2008-12-18T07:49:00.006+08:00

i kept denying the fact that 2008 is ending pretty soon.
it seems like a blink of an eye.
2008,has left me the greatest impact of all time.
i had fun.
i've learned to love.to care.to lose.
i've broke a heart,i've broke my own heart,and am still learning to mend it again.
friendships were made.
bonds grew stronger and thicker.
i've learned that letting go is the best option sometimes.
i rise,i fell and i'm still learning to get up again with my two own feet.
but whatever happens,at the end of the day,somethings will just make me realise,the beautiful state i'm in.

had a talk with an old friend yesternight.
and i realised i do miss him at times,still.
but there's nothing more we could do to mend everything back together.
mistakes were made,and again,i've learnt from it.

'kalau ego i sebesar gajah.dh lame i buat bodoh aishah.tapi too bad lh kn.ego i tk mcm gytu'

after all that has happened,i'm still so glad for certain things.
he is a great guy.and still is.
my lost,but there's no regret about it.because i believe,everything happens for a reason.

and dear friend.thank you for all the advices(oh,yes.i'll only take the good advices,hokay!haha)
and i'll surely ponder over all of them.
someday,insyallah,if our paths are fated to cross again,we'll surely meet again.
maner tau orang tu dah ngendong anak ke.orang kat sini dah jadi successful businesswoman ke.dah kawin dengan anak datok ke.
haha.
but yes,all the best in everything you do.
whatever it is,jangan luper orang kat sini kalau dah nak kawin eh.pls eh.kad jemputan kasi eh.
=p

so,i had too much fun after the last paper last week.
and i'm awaiting for this weekend to happen!
(awak,awak excited nak jumpe kiter eh?hahaha.)

and senoritaz!
biler nak kluar?
and we have not even plan for the belated birthday thingy yet.
cepat cepat!anyone,call me up,okie?
i miss you girls so much!
(:

oh and ps/i am so freaking broke!
mama's been so petty about my spendings nowadays cos i spent more than what i earned.
i might just have to get a new job soon.

and lastly,2009!
come soon pretty please?
and i'm still wondering what's in store for me..*smiles*

and this song sucks the laughter out of me.freaking irritating i tell you.
my lovely girls,biler nak melalak lagi?
next time,techno pulak eh?
haha.
and i'm blardy envious you girls are gonna have fun on a friday night,without me!
grrr.
but still,i love you two.jaga diri baik2 bila dekat situ okie.(:

2008-12-14T23:45:00.001+08:00

Sunday,was all good.

i had too much to eat whenever i am with the family.

brunch over at marine parade.

ice creams and cheesecakes over at marina square

and yes,finally!we went on a ride to singapore flyer then after!

friggin scary,i tell you and i just realised how scaredy i can be when i was on top there.

but it was all wonderful cause the scenery was oh-so breathtaking.

had popeye's after the ride and the chicken was wow.

but i didn't quite like the biscuit though.

i guess,maybe it's just me and my tongue.gah.

that's mama and papa!

trust me,i was freaked out by the heights!

i love my family(:

oh loook how my hair has grown longer and wavier!and i'm still short.pfft!

popeye's!!and that's papa.very hard to get him to take pics with me you know!

and then,spent the evening till night over at marina barrage.

as for me,it was my second time going there two days in a row.

haha.

but this time,i got to see the gate to the dam opened(yes hafiz,i am so lucky!)!

the water was pretty scary when it poured into the sea cos the current looked so strong even those who knows how to swim won't really survive if they fall into it.

brr..

as for yesterday,

i am still pretty much in love with my saturday.

dikir training in the morning.spent time with my girls over at marina square.met hafiz over at suntec.thereafter to marina barrage.dusty bus rides.dipping feets into the water while threating to kick water at each other.picnic at the grass patches with nachos and cookies and juice and mineral water which got the attention of flies,spiders and ants(hahaha).sunset watching.multiple times to the toilet cos of that boy's weak bladder system(opps!okie2,mine too!).lying on the mat when night time falls.stargaze,kite-gaze and moon gaze.playing with my hair and trying so hard to make me fall asleep so he could leave me there until morning comes(pfft!terima kasih lah eh awak!).playing chopsticks with the fingers.to town thereafter.observing and commenting the mats2 yang melepak everywhere(gah!).ice cream while strolling all the way from orchard to dhoby ghaut.

thank you for everything,mister!

that was awesome!

and i would love to have it again if we have the chance to the next time!(:

ps/and awak!get well soon please please please(:

it's gonna be monday again!

and thank god,no school no school!

((:

andand the sister and i are doing our blogshopping,again!

dresses dresses pretty dresses

*faints*

2008-12-12T22:33:00.006+08:00

an evening over at island creamery with pals.
heavenly mud pie.( thanks for the treat,friend(: )
nasi pattaya over at adam road food centre.
ahh.food.glorious food.

finally,school's out for 3 whole frigging weeks.
i love it.
like they said,let's ROCK!

sitting alone and pondering over things that had just happened.
i just realised,people may come and go in our lives.
some do stays,but only for a while.
and some stayed for a very long time.and still do.

extracted from delilah's post on 12/12/08:

Darlene Dear, I'm so happy to see you happy now. I told you, you're taking the right move. For now, enjoy life okay and smile always cause you look good when you smile.

Always remember this okay: "If I'm strong enough to face all these problems, why can't you be strong just to face that one problem?" - Delilah.

aww girlfriend.
thank you for always being there.
you know,you've never fail to always make me feel good,and to look forward to brighter days ahead.
and that's why i love you,girlfriend.
and yes,if you're strong enough to face everything,i am strong too!(:
not forgetting you too,darla.
i love you girls oh-so-much.thank you!((:

i guess i'm just lucky to have all the love in the world!
my darling A-Bi-Good girls.my ever lovely girls;SENORITAZ.Wonderful family.Fun-loving friends.
see..what more can i ask for?
i'm just so gay!
(:
oh and ps/meet up soon,senoritaz.i know you girls are planning something for Dina's belated,right?

and like finally,i can get a get a good night sleep,as of tonight!
will be having training tomorrow morning and will be out the whole day,with lovelies and an evening exploring marina barrage with my dear friend,hafiz!
i'm so excited!

and gah.i just need a little shopping once again.

2008-12-11T18:21:00.005+08:00

i didn't get to sleep well the whole of yesternight.
the alarm clock kept on snoozing from 4am onwards,but i refused to budge up until the phone blared so loudly,a wake up call from hafiz,which in any sense,forced me to move out of bed and mugged my ass out.
haha.thank you hor hafiz.
i know i sounded pathetic very early in the morning.haa.
and don't worry,you didn't disturb me from any good dreams.
gah!

Proteo paper really sucked the hell out of me until i was mentally drained out.
and doing a last minute revision,again,was never enough.
gawd,i certainly did not learn from the past.
and sitting purposely beside dhuha,was a bad idea,as it really made me feel at my worst cos that boy really looked very confident.and i was VERY intimidated.hahs.
oh well.it's done anyway.
i just hope tomorrow's paper will be much more manageable.
amin.

i have this huge urge to catch twilight.
who's up to catch it with me?*bats eyelashes*

edward cullen is,handsomely handsome deh.
vampires really do turn me on.
they are just so sexy.

and mama!find me a boyfriend who looks like edward cullen.

i can just drool over him 24/7.

haha.okie,i just sound like a living nightmare.

and someone,anyone,please get me the novel!
pretty please??
or or maybe somebody who knows where to get them?
-_-

i'm very much looking forward to the weekend!
saturday,sunset watching(and hopefully stargazing too!)at marina barrage(yeay!),sunday,to singapore flyer with the family.
and 3 weeks of term breaks.
plans in between.
meet ups with people i'm missing so much.
picnics,chilling out sessions.
christmas party to attend to on the eve of christmas.
work.work.work.
ah.that's life.
and i'm so much in love with the life i have right now.
(:

now,off for one more night of mugging!

2008-12-10T22:06:00.003+08:00

when you can't even sit still at home on a wednesday..

yes,met up with the girlfriend!

loads of stories were shared.

we laid,we rolled,we laughed,we sang.

at bedok reservoir.

first paper tomorrow!

all the best,to me(:

2008-12-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

first up!
Salam Aidiladha to all muslims(:

like always,raya,eventhough its raya haji,isn't complete without the usual dishes.
so like every single year,went to nenek's house in the afternoon,ate like countless times,crapped with the cousins,played with aley,slept,watched the programmes on suria and went home feeling gay.
i love my hugee family.(:

my sunday was spent window shopping,and a little shopping for hafiz since he wanted to look for his dad's birthday present.
i've gotta admit its been a long time since i went window shopping in town.
and town is so different until i got lost while looking for hafiz after alighting from the train.pfft!
and thank you dearest hafiz for being a 'girlfriend'(okie you would be sad if you read this cause it might sound gay for you.haha.) for the day!
from far east,walked all the way to bugis(he shopped!),roamed bugis village,bugis junction(which,we finally got his dad's prezzie there,and of course,he shopped,again.haha.).
and i was so freaking geram with the dresses we saw along the way but i just have to wait until the end of the month.
and finally,we stopped to have our late dinner at arab street,had little chats and off home(thanks for waiting with me for the freaking-lambat-bus-which-took-forever!)
for the aftermath,my legs were aching because of the few hours non-stop walk.thanks uh hafizzz. but still,i had a crazily good sunday evening with that boy.
ps/a jog or a run or a chilling session or stargazing session at bedok reservoir,next.jom!
(:

i bet np-ians are really mugging like hell these past few days!and tomorrow's officially the start of common test.
i've got to study.study.study!

erm no.maybe i should get a little bit of sleep first.

and and and,the girlfriend's back!alhamdulilah.(: it wasn't the same when she wasn't here during the weekends.nobody to kacau me with messages like she always did.i missed her.

anyway,good monday night,loves(:

2008-12-06T21:03:00.000+08:00

its beautiful.and i still am pretty much in love with this song.

Love knows when to put pride to the side, because the greatest thing one can be proud of is the love that is shared.